Nan X Toh 2

Hundred two

2010-04-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

So much has happen and very little is told.
Polytechnic memories are not that worth remembering.
Cause everyday something new fun and interesting happen.
It's fun. Interesting. Not that boring. Except for lessons.

First day of poly life.
Our lecturer told us roughly wad we be doing.
Basically.
A interesting photo story.
A hundred and sixty photography. With feelings those kind.
A hundred of ideas for a video or firm.
Every week must complete a drawing. This is not easy.
Assignment one for photograph.
Assignment two for photograph.
Learning of Photoshop skills.
Learning of Adobe Illustrator.
Some course related outings.
Using different way of Visual Graphic.

For now that's about it.
HELLO! First day so much le leh!
And so they dig us in for the first day...
I got some awesome friends. Wooohooo! Nice.

Just want that dream.
Hate myself so stubborn. Love my stubborn too!
But some things can't be force. Too bad for me. Lol!

And I want a new blog. Shimata...
Then I transfer this post in and share link again.

Lastly... I am working toward my dream.
As in i needa grow up before i can finish up my life.
One girl in my class were 2 step ahead of me.
TWO NOT ONE! Eeeee!
Cry... A bit look up on her. Damn!
By the way...
My real dream.
It's to learn japanese. (SHE DOING THIS SINCE YOUNG)
And travel to japanese. (AND THIS LAST YEAR DECEMBER)
Go Digipen for certificate.
Work in a japanese environment.
Square enix. Konami. Too much to mention...
Migrating to japan is a older dream when I am older!

First

2010-04-07T08:15:00.001-07:00

Wee 101th post...
Lazy start up new blog. T_T

So finished my Dmit camp. 2nd to 5th april. 4 days 3 nights.
Had to say it's fun. Everyday was! Met lot of new friends too. Awesome! =)

Arghh my mood has being screw up in the camp.
Haiz why am i those people that always hide things in me.
Not gonna say anything! That's sucks... >_<

Anyway. As soon as I finished my camp. On the 5th April.
Went eat with my new friends. Then met with johnny! Go coach area bball!
Sweat a little. Feel extremely tired but nice. Shiok feeling! XD

Continuing 6th April. Wake, went to chai chee wanted to bball.
End up kena pull to have lunch with diyana and co.
After finish went to parkway have suki sushi...
Night went to find my bro have dinner at sushi tei.
Brought some stuffs for uknowwho. And it's a japanese day. <3

On going to 7th April. Went school bball. Pass things.
Dinner at parkway. Home. =)

Toward the future! 8th April. Going to go school bball. Green tea.
Dinner. Home! XD

Damn my life sucks. Poly starting soon...
I will be going dover like monday to friday.
But I swear... I will. ( This part only I know )
Wahahahaa! Kinda long post now. Shall stop! =p

I noticed it. Really... Feeling so dead now... But I'll be fine!
So many how how how. I guess no one really understand me.
Awww... ... That's sucks. ^_^

Hundred

2010-03-30T05:22:00.000-07:00

Hundred Post!

First post kena ruin cause blogger got problem.
So this post now is to replace that previous.
More cheerful and happy de of course!
Maybe a little truth below okay. =D

So hundred post...
Means at least 100 days of memories.
Wow... so many days have past since my second blog.
Amazing. So much has changed also...
Hurt here a little. There a little.
I of course changed too. XD

Today today today!
Cut my fringe by around 1 cm.
OMG I WANT LONGER HAIR!!!
Went to singapore poly. Take this & that.
Hmm... next few days will be busy.
Till no time to online!
Saddening. TT

When I get to online.
I will soon be studying in singapore poly.
Meaning less chance to return to chai chee sec.
Suddenly remembering you telling me to go back often.
Not wanting me to leave chai chee.
Cause I say last day in school le.
Lol! So much happened... =p

Haiz...
Sometime hope I can be angry at you.
But but. I just can't find any reason to be angry.
Worst still. I have no idea why am I not sad.
I should be. ^^

From the maybe side of view.
Maybe because I think I know you too well.
Until the point where I keep thinking I know everything.
Maybe the fact is cause I don't know anything at all.
Too much of maybe le. =_=

All the stuffs you said before.
Just created all this maybe maybe maybe.
Maybe feels different?
Maybe you have changed?
Maybe I have changed?
Maybe it's over?
Maybe you are bored?
Maybe you are stress?
Maybe I am lying to myself?
Maybe I maybe too much?!
Too much to mention.
Damn... Haha! > <

Haha funny but that's that. =)

Love is just another word for me I afraid...

Alright... Hundred post finish!
Shall start up a new blog. Hehe!
Wait till I call you guys to relink. Busy! (^,^)

Three

2010-03-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

I just can't forget the happy memories... that one day out with you. It was simply happy and no sadness at all. Still remember that poa I done. That lame happy face moon. Sending msg even through your opposite me. Went to eat donut. Having that long chat. All the relative encounter. The crying baby in mrt. Taking bus another relative. Omg... Finally the walk with you home. Hahaha! Love it... That day too happy till post super ultra long. =D

Love

2010-03-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Gazette - Before I decay.
Gazette! Oh my... XD

Plastic Tree - Sanatorium.
Plastic Tree... Damn!

Phantasmagoria - Eternal Silence.
Phantasmagoria... Shita. Look!

Oh my... I love Japanese hairstyle. Dressing.
Crapppp. In fact. Everything about Japan. Sweet...

Today spend time with family. Went out. So hai hao.
Used notebook on bed as well. Pretty crazy. Neckache!

Bought a book that talk about fortune and feng shui...
It was basically so true. Like when i cross reference to my life.

When what come. When what go.
Was so hit bulleye till i didnt want continue reading.

Tomorrow gonna head to school and well. Play bball.
While I still have the chance huh. Feel much relieve nowadays.

Good thing huh. Love it. No more emo for me.
Gonna be even more fucking crazy bastards and bitches!

Yawn

2010-03-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

It's 330am. Gosh... Sleeping hours are fucking cock up.
Had another long day. To keep it short. Just say it was fun.

Had to open myself up more. And be more truthful and honest.
This few day emo till crazy. But that's that. The end. Tired of emo.

I begin to understand. Through my friend's "love" encounter.
Even it's sad. I fully understand. Weird but yeah. It can't be force.

So if that's the case. Using time to change myself for a bit would be good.
For example. Having a longer hair. And yeah a nice and cool one. Haha!

My life is pretty lucky and good already. Compare to those poor.
I get the technology. The fun. The experiences. Lots more.

So better stop all this love love love shit. Hehe.
Imagine if no computer and handphone.

Even I am not sure what the fuck is love.
But am sure it is something happy.

And only real life love.
I am finding that.

NOT SOME BULLSHIT INTERNET LOVE! MSN/SMS.
ACTING ALL FUCKED AND EMO AINT MY STYLE.

People who know me should know.
Wait no one know me. Lol!
Cant wait for poly admission!!!

Wrong era I was born in perhaps.

Not

2010-03-18T08:10:00.001-07:00

Edited!

Sort out my mind a little.
Being bit crazy. Or very crazy.
Thought of all the crazy-est stuffs.
Just say lucky I didn't attempt it. Haha.

Everything will be fine.
Numb-ed myself. It work.

Beauty

2010-03-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

A lunatic's lament.

I still remember the dream I had.
Which has you and me in it.
It's feels real.

If I could have a wish now.
It will be to be trap in that dream forever...

Day

2010-03-16T01:22:00.000-07:00

16 march. Woke up seven. Won the match.
Went eat at marine parade.
Fucking exhausted. Physically plus mentally.
Tried to sleep. Can't sleep for 2 hours.
Headache like fuck. Irritated. Annoyed.
Dinner with diyana guanan danah.

Edit*

Mood was great after dinner.
Went to Gelyang. Had a blast there.
Reach home. Bath.

Stuffs that shouldn't happen happened.
Ever wondered how many things is gonna change.
It just fucking show how human are. So bored man.
Watch.

And yea. Now is already 240am.
How am i gonna spend tonight. Obviously i can't sleep.
So fucked screw up... Exhausted and now like that. Wonderful.

Things can be easy. But you made it so complicated.

Alesana

2010-03-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

It doesn't cure anymore.

Tired

2010-03-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

Long day i have today. Gonna summaries it.
Morning wake. Meet my bros.
Bus to tms secondary for carnival.
Saw lots and tons of people. Friends.
Again i cannot stand crowd.
Immediately i feel sick.
End of part 1.

Cab home and change.
Went to bedok gym to workout.
For around two hours. Damn. Push.
Amazing my shoulder are stress out.
Feel so good. Muscle growing.
I am so weak and small size.
Went home bath.
End of part 2.

Meet my bros again.
Then mrt to City Hall.
Walk to esplanade.
Had dinner outdoor.
Watched "breakout"
Finish took some photos.
End of part 3.

Walk a bit there.
Cab to Katong Shopping Centre.
Played pool.
Cab back home.
End of part 4.

It's getting late now.
Exhausted plus aching.
Will sleep soon.
End of part 5!

Every single thing you do.
Just a little part can make my day.
And it can kill my day as well.
Nevermind. Slowly bah.

Feel so pathetic. Played with facebook friends exposed.
They asked "who will always be there for you no matter what?".
And asked "who can you talk to for hours without getting bored?"
I skipped both of it. Not daring to answer it. Shit...
One day I will find the answer to the question man!

Non

2010-03-12T08:33:00.001-08:00

Almost fainted at IT show. Fuck.
Crowd was crazy. Can't take it.
Can't breathe properly.

So bought a notebook today.
Had dinner with family.
Enjoyed my day.

There can only be so much which i blog.
The others are just lost emotion i didn't mention.
I wonder. With no answer.

My days are way worst without you. Is all I am saying.

Kong

2010-03-11T06:42:00.000-08:00

Feel so amazing.
Think 2 much things.
Until me gonna explode. ==''

Honest

2010-03-08T08:49:00.001-08:00

In the past. I need someone. You appear and stay.
In the present. I need you. Everything change.
You are not here. So I make a decision.
Hopefully the right choice.
Maybe because situation is different.
Maybe I think too much.
Now and then.

Wanted to tell you. Wanted to know.
Had no chance till now. Nevermind there will be chances.

Even if I am sad.
There will always be people out there more sad than me.
Even if I have problems.
There will also be people out there got more problem than me.
So I am consider as a lucky person.
Pretty good already compare to the worst.

Too much empty promises.
Turning back to a baby will reset all this counts.
Restart...

Some people open their emotion like flowing river.
How come mine is close like holy oh my fucking zombie freeze up ice.
Maybe because it's me! =D

Teal

2010-03-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

Bought Final Fantasy XIII.
Will keep me occupy for some time. I guess.
Other then that. No other big or small news.

Nothing much happening. All just my brain work.

Hmm e-mailed for a job also. S'pore Expo. For End of March.
Hopefully I can get in. With Johnny of course!
Thanks to him. If get in.

Anyway Friday. Playing against tms junior team.
If win, good for the team. As I am the point guard.
If lose, shit man. It not gonna look good man.
The team. My bros. My friends. Stress die me.
So I gonna work hard on my passes. And my thinking.

Caring without expecting a favour.

I hate emo.
So I am cheerful! Wahaha... =D

LAST THING! I WANT MY HAIR TO BE LONGER!

Sat

2010-03-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

夠愛

Tomorrow is Sat. Doesn't means anything to me.
Hmm. Got nothing much to blog about.
Or too much till dun wan people to know.

Got so much to say.
Don't know how to start.
So let me start by not starting.

Let just say.
JACKSON IS A... boy?
HE CAN THINK... FOR A DAY?!
Okay who can't. ==''

People like me always have mixed emotion. Just notice.
I can always be full of confident but always lacking of it.
Shit gonna end this post soon! Weeeheee...

I decided. And I won't want to change again. Final!
Caring for one is so difficult. But I will never give up.
You still have to see if they wanted to be care or not.
Make sure they don't find you irritating and annoying.

I have no life.
Have a sucky hairstyle.
Always eat brunch alone.
None to call.
None to message.
Play ps3 alone.
Watch drama alone.
But I have my fun everyday. Nothing's wrong bastard and bitch. =D

Icucicu

2010-03-02T09:15:00.000-08:00

Is it just me thinking too much.
Or you escape even faster.
And even better than me.
Can't face it and make a conclusion.
If that is the case.
Let's keep running then!

I guess this is the reason why.

Stress

2010-02-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

Alright. A proper post ya. So recently feeling very stress and fucked-up.
Feels like the whole world is trying to harm him.
Worried about tons of stuffs.
Not writing here.
Plus no one is there for him.
Worst than no life now.
Nevermind! He will think of something.
Afterall, there are people always far worst than me.

Surprising, he thought of going back ccss play bball.
Is that good or bad.
There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
So if I think it's good. It's good.
But I can't decide on one. Damn!

Second thing that he thought of. Sucky.
Finding another job. Anyone has lobang?!

Let's see. The third one. Continue think of new ideas to approach her.
However thinking and doing is two different thing.
I dare to think. I also dare to do. But I have no confident.
I know le. Maybe because I already know the result.
And no one to push me this time.

That's why I don't even wanna try.
Am sure that the general accepting it is a yes yes.
Anything more is a no no. It's fun. Definitely.
But my mood is fucked around every single time.
Freak. What more, human's greatest fear.
Heh no need say here also know. I hate part of me.
Again nevermind! Will think of something.

Anyway I have recovered from my fever 100%.
Don't want type anymore.
Now some photos of myself!
And final thing. I want my hair to be longer!!!

Oh yeah! Notice it's a mirror.

Love this. Myself, not the snow ice.

My cousin extremely cute. Ran in all of sudden.
He thought his turn to snap. On the far left. Cute max!

If every "Nevermind" I type is escaping.
I am doom... Wahaha! Crap. How? How?

2010-02-27T08:06:00.001-08:00

Scare...

Motica

2010-02-23T09:42:00.000-08:00

Need motivation.
Found it. Through blogging.
Will only edit this post.
At least for now...

Last year cross country
East Coast (2.3km) - 9 mins.

Aim
Run 6 lap (2.4km) bedok stadium - 9 mins.

Now 23/2/10
Run 6 lap (2.4km) bedok stadium - 12 mins 30 second.

And 24/2/10
Morning went to school.
Evening went to do odd job.
Didn't get to run. Damn!
Hahah work not for the sake of money.
That's me!
What he said isn't wrong.
But it does not means it is right.
Oh my. What should my next move be...

And 25/2/10
Should collect my remaining salaries. About $200.
Then finish up the work that is left behind.
After should RUN.

See how pathetic this is. Omg...
But my knee start to have problem also le.

So worried after knowing my friend kena le.
Wish that you will recover real soon ya.

Looks like I have to endure mine too.
Afterall, it is minor. I hope.
And loss some fatssss!

frozenstar...

Doing's

2010-02-22T10:05:00.000-08:00

Trap in my own soul's lies.

Motivation

2010-02-17T22:52:00.001-08:00

Everything that I do. I do it alone. =)

Xing Xing! So sorry packaging sucks. Rush like mad. Just never tell you.

Today was great. Afternoon wake up.
Went for lunch alone. Saw my friend "Derrick".
He commented this "Eat alone arh. So sad.".
FUCK. FINE.

Mom and Dad went out.
Alone at home watch drama till night.

Even better. Time for dinner.
Went for dinner alone. Order food from auntie.
She actually said this "哦，一个人啊。".
FUCK. FANTASTIC.

Happy Alone Day! Jackson Toh.
Great... I am fine. Still alive. Phew... Up till now.
Am still alone! Congrats to this sixteen years old boy.
Which is classified "won't die alone". Haha. He might die alone.
But the meaning is that if you leave him alone, he won't die. Lol!

Sad. Thanks to green tea. I force a smile while back home. =)

Was so bored I decided to took picture of myself.
And to upload it! Wahaha... Had fun with my hair.

PS.
You will never see my hair like in the photo.
Because of wind and SWEAT. I will sweep it to one side.
Therefore, causing my hair to be always messy. Sad huh.
Unless Singapore is Air-Conditioner in every place.

Don't pity me please. Thanks. =D

CNY&V-Day

2010-02-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

Happy chinese new year and Happy V-day.
Updates finally from Jackson. Recently kinda lazy to blog.
Just feel that not a lot people read bah. No need read also ma.
Because the important peep know what I am doing everyday.

Anyway 13 Feb. Night went Shaun's gig in the night.
More kindly go to HuiWen's blog.

And 14 Feb. Woke up early, went to mom's mom house.
Of course, then to my dad's mom house.
Finish playing cards, went back home.
Went out watch movie with bro.
Even more suck-ey stuffs happen. Wthf. Irritating. Hate it.
Reach home bath use com. Sleep quite late.

Finally 15 Feb. Wake up early. Slept like 4 hours?
Head pain like retarded. Watch a bit of drama.
Went out watch movie at Marina Square with family.
Then to floating platform see see. Went back old house visit.
Reach back home and head to bro's friend house play card.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Anyway 16 Feb. Going to Mdm See's house and visit. 2pm.
Hopefully won't oversleep. Night peep. Until next...

Love it if it is simple. But why is it so complicated...
I get it. Because love is complicated! So might as well fuck it. =)

Hah

2010-02-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

Don't think I will be happy when things happen.

Happy

2010-02-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

Happy 18 slash it. Happy 16 birthday Janice Sok Ansopanha!
The one who mess up my name. And give me the name ah xing.
I won't post a photo of you larh okay. But I will post a drawing for you.
I tried my best. You should know I bad with colours.
Done by Jackson! Omg not very nice. Sorry. ><

Hope you are happy. And will remain happy.
And of course always happy. How to do that.
Jackson will be here for you! Feel free to call or msg me okay.
And I won't tell people you never lalala de okay!
Hahahaahaaa! Wth... ^^

Wish that your wish will come true!
Being honest to you is so easy eh. =D

You'll be in my heart. <3

Committed

2010-02-09T06:58:00.000-08:00

Here to post again. Mmm, recently things are fine.
Just had this feeling that some things are sort of unfair.
Put in my best effort of doing it. But the result are just okay.

Hopefully I can stay committed and do more crazy things.
Being really ultra lifeless ever since I stop working. Damn.
However for sure more happier. That is something can't argue.

My days are great. With little things to care and worry about.
Haha. Few days back I told my mom this.
"eh mee, i abandon spec, t-shirt, collar shirt, short pants,
jeans, long pants, running shoes, bball shoes, accessory, laptop,
iphone, overseas trip, all throw away le, the should buy things"
But I am not disappointed at all this at all. Sooner or later.
Guess I choose it to be later.

I know. Weird right. The right feeling is not there to buy all this.
But there is definitely one thing Jackson didn't give up and abandon.
That... only Jackson himself know in his heart. =)

Trying not to disappoint you...

Wanna be brave. You better be too... I'll be here! >_<

And and and create this shit.
Feel free to ask me anything there --> http://formspring.me/nanxtoh

Conversation

2010-02-05T08:57:00.000-08:00

This is a conversation in facebook between :
WeiJie (my npcc sir)
Eugene (stranger)
Nuur Shiddiq (stranger also)

WeiJie :
It's not wrong to give it all for love;
It's not wrong to love a person so much..
As long as you're willing..

Eugene :

Sacrifice to love someone,
Fortunate to be loved by someone.
That person you love so much is so fortunate. She's a lucky girl.

WeiJie :
Yeahh.. God send me to her..
To watch over her and make her happy..
And hopefully she knows it..
Rule # 1: Always make her happy.

Nuur Shiddiq :

Unless you know you are fighting for the wrong cause..
Let her go if you know her heart belongs to someone else..
If you love her.. Let her go.. If she Loves you..
She will return without you hinting or telling her to do so...
Poem by : Ling Ah Ling...

Nice!... Damn happy lehhh! =)

Smile

2010-02-02T05:36:00.001-08:00

It doesn't matter. I'll be fine.

Next post. When I feel like it.

Hais

2010-02-02T05:36:00.000-08:00

It doesn't matter how many people are online in msn if you are not online.

Airshow

2010-02-01T05:03:00.001-08:00

Firstly... Fuck airshow! Now working inside exhibition hall for some missile company, MBDA. As expected... Gonna work everyday till 7th or 9th. Everyday wake 5. Everyday end 6. My boss is strict and at the same time kind good to me.

He said this to me today that strike me very hard. 做人要发出内心. Fantastic...

Haha... So okay. Fine. So what is my heart really wanna be. In front of so many fucking people, my attitude all different. To my mother, my father, my brother, my relative, my brothers, my ballers, my best friends, my boys type of friend, my girls type of friends, strangers and everyone I know. Each and everyone, I dunno who am I. So how the hell do I express my heart. Anyone mind telling me who me?!

Talk about split personality... This sucks... 内心. Feel like digging it out have a closer look.

Bbq

2010-01-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

Here to blog. I might be mia on certain days. Not too sure yet. TT

Sat de 30th. I'll be working 11am till 1130pm.
Sun de 31st. Mr.Tan is treating my ex-class. Dunno timing yet.
Mon de 1st. Chai Chee having another bball match.

Tues to Tues de 2nd to 9th. High chance working everyday for airshow.
The most important part is here. I have to wake at 5am.
Yes... 5am. Not a fucking typo. Even earlier than students life.
And the even more sad thing is. I have to rush to orchard by 645am.
And and the even more sad thing. Am working until 630pm. Shit...
The poorest thing that is gonna happen is. High chance working everyday.
Haiz...

Weds de 10th. Taking my paycheck of 800 buck plus.
Thurs de 11th. No plan for it. It's someone's bday! Double T.
Fri de 12th. Going Shaun's concert. Who wanna go with me?
Sat de 13th. Give me a break!
Sun de 14th. Chinese New Year plus Valentine day.
Although V day not important to me.

Good chance for me to ignore everything.
Live in a world of alone like I do for everyday.
Now know my plan for almost everyday.
Kinda sucks huh. Knowing everyday so sucky...

Talk bout today. Morning still sleeping I think.
Only remember few msg. And that's all.
Whole afternoon watching Momo love.
Evening time went to play bball at coach area.
Midnight watch Momo love again. Now at ep 10.

Great. Now this post fucking long till I lazy read also.
Whoever really read finish leave a tag arh. Thanks.
Hopefully no one read so they won't know I gonna have a sucky weeks.

Definition of dream.
- a series of mental images and emotions occurring during sleep. (Yep)
- imaginative thoughts indulged in while awake. (laugh)
- a cherished desire. (Lol)
- a fantastic but vain hope. (Haha)

Alright. Ending this post with. Goodnight peep.
Someone sleep without saying anything. Good!

Sixteen

2010-01-27T05:58:00.000-08:00

There this small boy that keeps everything to himself.
Having no one to talk. No one could understand.
The thing is. He don't even dare to say hi.
Always pretending to be smiling.
No matter what happen.
That's hard. Very very.
Still he keep trying. =]

He really wanna be that brave little courageous boy in his dream.
But that's a dream and he know it won't happen. =]

Wow this is fucking emo. I admit. Fuck this man!
Damn I need to play bball... My mind keep drifting apart... =.=ll

Ren

2010-01-26T08:02:00.001-08:00

There are different kinds of endure.
For me. Is the common one.
Endure loneliness!
It's pretty easy.

Phew

2010-01-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

The music video I said in the last post!
Drama's music are somehow nice! =D

25 January...
Sent a message in the morning, then somehow fallen back asleep.
Then afternoon went to buy food for my mother. And myself of course.
Eat lunch then played Bayonetta. Am sure that one more day will complete.
Evening went to Tamp with my mother for dinner. Saw some chaichee-ian.
As usual, night use com. Watched drama "Autumn's Concerto".

Feel like a new born baby. That's good! ><''

XueHai

2010-01-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

Omg! It's 4am in the morning...
Damn! Haha still gotta blog about 24 Jan.
Because I had a dream...
The content only one single person know!
Hehe. First time I remember my dream so clearly.

So today, wake up afternoon went to grandma house.
After that, went back home then simei to find my mother!
Went back home to play Bayonetta. Gonna complete soon.
Finally, msn with ex-classmate, use facebook and view blog.
Follow by drama "Hi My Sweetheart". Thumbs up!
Freak next week last ep le... Kinda sad. But happy.

People say that whatever happen in a dream,
It will not happen in the real world.

So I shall sleep now and hope I dream again!
Night peep!

post music video later. =]

Double T

2010-01-23T09:54:00.000-08:00

Last night was just a bad nightmare.
No one needs to know. No one will be there.

Hehe I posted one song as well!

Negative stuffs keep happening. I keep taking it in.
I can't control it. I can only accept it. Therefore no complains.
Damn... I am losing everything. Everything! Funny...
And one last thing. Jackson Toh hate money to the max.

Number has increase to 800. It's my paycheck. =)

Heh

2010-01-22T09:38:00.001-08:00

Snow has melt into something i can't embrace on to. =D

Pass

2010-01-21T09:02:00.000-08:00

Ever had this feeling that you thought things could go back to square one.
But you found out that the other person is at square two long already.
Worst know that the things needed to bring the person to one is gone.
What's even more troublesome is there's no way you could jump to two.
So basically it is a lose situation and you will definitely lose out.
A single photo could change a hundred thousand million billion things.

I will continue my life. Even through it feels so stranger nowadays...

So be it. =)

Fun

2010-01-20T07:49:00.001-08:00

Back from Batam! Overall it's fun. First day met up in the early morning and head to that bastard island. Upon reaching, we went to some local places, then eat lunch, played go-kart and flyingfox, went to shopping mall for pool and arcade and finally proceed back to hotel.

Had free time in our rooms. Until night time, went to eat dinner. Played pool again, and went to eat supper, Ayam Penyet. Goddammit I finally know how to pronoun Penyet! After seeing the spelling... Walked back to hotel and played cards after.

And continuing. Second day wake late morning for breakfast. Played table tennis and went to another shopping mall. Watched Jacky's movie, one dollar and fifty cents. And the standard is the exactly de same as when in sg. Take boat back, ate dinner and return home.

Time now is 3am. Just watched finish Autumn's Concerto. Tomorrow maybe will start on Momo love. Air finish already I think that drama. Tomorrow plan is to wake at afternoon and head for Chai Chee match against Bedok Town.

Lost my focus and didn't know what to aim and head toward for... Can't continue this anymore... Can't begin this also... Can't end this also... What can I do. Nothing! Anyway I gonna offline and sleep now!

Troubled...

^^

Ten

2010-01-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

It all started with this thing call "basketball".

In another 10 more days. I will know the result of the poly admission.
Today... Nothing much happen. Except I finished Modern Warfare 2 story.

When thought of the past, there's no such word call "fault".
Because it's neither's.
When thought of the future, there's no such word call "forgive"
Because neither's at fault.

If only it's that simple!

Blanked mind... =D

Period

2010-01-15T08:48:00.001-08:00

11/1/10 (seafood meal)

12/1/10 (that's my hand)

13/1/10 (Stare at this for fuck)

14/1/10 (Food equal japanese)

Realise there's only pics. Not much words.
Thinking... Wondering... Realising...
Every words strike me. Strike everything.

So tomorrow.
Morning campcraft at 8am until 2pm.
Afternoon book Batam ticket.
Night work at 7pm until 1130pm.

Donut... ==''

Feel like a noob in everything. This sucks... =]

Courses

2010-01-12T20:54:00.000-08:00

Afternoon post! Haha... Recently busy until no time use com. 11/1/10. So my Os is fine. Don't feel like talking about it. So next! Celebration with my best buddies. Went to eat Sakura at Downtown, played arcade and pool. Cab home alone.

And the fucked up. 12/1/10. Morning what happen. Only people that know knows. Walked for one hour and ate breakfast. Well went down to Singapore Poly to check out the courses. I wanna go in! Anyway went to play pool. Then went parkway eat snow ice. Dinner, went home drama and anime!

Today the. 13/1/10. Morning was still sleeping until tp people called me for the course I wanna go in as first choice. Last night was filling all the particulars like mad. And today they called me! Fast and efficient! Scared me. So it's worth it. Probably going there for interview. Hopefully I do good! Pray for me!

Ermm. Since up here le just blog all the way till end of week bah. 14/1/10. No plans or activity. Maybe stay at home. Or find people go out.

And let's see. 15/1/10. Afternoon 2pm Chai chee will be playing in East Zone Competition. And deadline for Os submit courses. Have to decide by then!

What else. 16/1/10. Working in Swiss.

Last but not least. 17/1/10. No plans or activity. Maybe stay at home. Or find people go out.

That's all! Wish me luck people!

Fat

2010-01-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

Today I realise something more about myself! Why I am behaving like the Jackson now. Reason, a little bit too bullshit but hey it's my blog. I choose what I want to type! So want to read read, dunwan too bad. Haha! To say, I am very proud of myself! From past to the present.

Hehe... Basically, last time de Jackson is fucking fat and very very short. Everyone I know knows that. And no one wanted to make friend with him. I mean who will right? A little boy that looks retarded, with specs on. You dare talk to him? He wanted people to take notice of his existence, not just another pillar in school in class. What did he do then?

I remembered him deciding to be brave. To be action in everything, to be proud in everything and not humble at all, to be arrogant, and finally to be the best of everything he do. The primary school him is real bastard, trust me. Taking any chance to speak and boost about his good. And the secondary school him, he wanted people to regret and feel jealous of him. This is very serious of me typing this. But I lay lower during secondary school.

Haha enough of my unusual post. Okay summary of what I done today. Went to Leung's house, went tp, drama, bro's supper, drama. The top post is like that because of this! I was communicating with stranger as if I was friend with them at tp. And Ming, one of my 8 years buddy said this. "Eh you know him arh, I think before you enter this school, half the people know you le". Haha. Make me think of all this shit!

Thanks to the stupid old me to have this habit. Anyhow talk to stranger as if I know them. This is also a reason why I had encounter with a lot of funny stuffs. And ya, number became 610. Real slow but well it will increase as time goes! Let's see, what else... I might be studying in Singapore Poly! High chances. Haha. No longer Temasek Poly. Oh! Tomorrow working at Swiss. And done with Autumn's Concerto! Have to wait... Damn!

I will stop wondering... I will get over it... I will gonna stop...
It doesn't matter how people treat me anymore... I will accept it!

Poly

2010-01-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

And yet another summary! Morning wake went Tp open house then to Sp open house. Tp got the course I want. But I know it won't be easy... Nevermind continuing, went to Outram Park, then to the Furama hotel over there. It sucks, it really sucks. Don't want to talk about it. So after went back Bedok had my dinner and tata home bath drama sleep!

Time now is 330am and tomorrow have to wake at 7am to go Npcc campcraft training... Awww crap for sure zombie over there. Nevermind, should be okay. Afternoon blank. Night time my bro say wanna bring me out. Surprisingly I have no idea where we two can go. I mean we never really went out tomorrow before. Haha.

Oh did I mention, Chai Chee ballers will be playing against Bedok Town Sec, Bedok North Sec, JunYuan Sec, Siglap Sec and finally Dunman Sec. It is not in order. Haha. First match Thursday at Anglican high school.

And yep! Biggest news for me currently. Will get my Os result on Monday! How I hope and wish that tomorrow is Monday. Haha a bit over confident arh me. I know myself so yeah! Weee... I remember saying this, if I so stupid and dumb hit 20 or above points I jump into school pond. And obviously it won't happen. And the first phone call I will make. I also remember that!

I have seen the clock at 1.11am and 3.33am today. Wondering lot of things. Shall keep with myself through. Haha. Night peep!

Am I being forgotten... Lol. Those word... Haha.

Some photos of me and random!
Less than 5 of me. So it is counted as some!

Firstly my idol! No need intro le.

And this three fuckers. My best buddy!

Haha Ribena is sugar! Sweeet...

Clothes at Chinatown Furama. Sucks!

After bball! Drank super thick milo to recover!

Now this! Outram Park Furama clothing. Mann I like my hair!

Loving myself huh! Weeeee..... Freak after uploading time become 4am.
Wonder if time could go anti clockwise... Hahaha... Crap. Night motherborn!

Hah

2010-01-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

Don't feel like blogging about 8th of January... So shall summaries ya. Cut hair, computer, bball night game, drama. No point breaking into smaller details...

I wonder... I really hate myself when playing bball. Why can't I try to perform as well. I just didn't have the chance. I pass the ball and run back. Got blame as well.

Well, I blame myself for not taking the chance. Someone tell me how to be point guard. Maybe talking and shouting is the solution. Screw it and have more confident, Jackson ex#4!

Realise a lots of things over this few months. People really do change me.

Hey time now is 333am. I mean when I look at the computer time. Will think of someone. Haha... You know who. One day 24hours.

There is only 1.11 2.22 3.33 4.44 5.55 followed by 11.11 to think of that person. I mean to specially think of it. Will also think of occasionally when random. There is no 6.66 7.77 8.88 9.99 on the clock, special take note. =D

Popopo

2010-01-06T07:55:00.000-08:00

Hah title just anyhow type. No main title huh. Today! Morning went out to eat breakfast and buy house stuffs alone...

Afternoon went to Bedok Mac meet part of 4eb. Shortly after, they went to Bedok ktv and I went back to ccss for bball training. Even through I only stayed as an observer. Got my $200 eagle award and bball shoe! Nice...

Evening went back to Bedok ktv and sing sing. Even through I just listen listen. After went to eat at Aston. And even after, went to bicycle park (how the hell u call it. zzz...) and slack there until night. Talked about shit and shit and more shit...

Bus home and here I am! Blogging about this shit. Gonna watch drama later on. Probably until quite late. Tomorrow got no shit plan at all. Maybe go back school bball...

This few days I feel damn fucked... Had this idea of myself being fucking irritating and annoying. Annoying the word keep reappearing. To the maximum extent. I am gonna go crazy. Never had this feeling before until those shit happen. Arghh damn. I can't stay this way. Fuck it man. Have to find back...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I AM FUCKING FRUSTRATED AT MYSELF...
=='' Fuck this peep until tomorrow!

_l_(-^^-)_l_
Jacks...

Miss

2010-01-05T08:29:00.000-08:00

its not about how much he has given you, but how much you have shared.

The top quote is written by my cousin in facebook. Hah nice! Thumbs up!

Today had being a total disaster. Because I don't find the meaning of it. And just by this sentence, kindly dun say I am emo. Thanks.

I woke up at 635 but my alarm is set at 640. Believe me or not, but the alarm is not used. Hah I should do this whenever possible huh. Everyday!

Then I continue my sleep somehow until 2plus. Found out that my work start at 3. What the fuck... I rush preparing as I was just up from bed.

Once ready, cab to Furama Hotel. The peep there is friendly, and today was kinda special as no one is there to dine. So work from 3 to 7. Sucks huh.

Went back to Bedok eat alone and met Ming by chance. Followed him around to buy his stuff and head back home. Played dota with friends and damn didn't get to msn.

Damnnn! Regretted playing, haiz... Could have spent the time better. Anyway, am watching this drama "Autumn's Concerto". Paused it to blog about this. It's a nice show too, but kinda sad...

Tomorrow gonna meet up with ex-classmates around afternoon for ktv at Bedok... ktv sounds weird but heck care, that how they called it. Thus, am gonna miss bball training. Sorry guys!

Begin to start wondering about my future. What I really want is to become a game animator. Have really shrink it to such detail. Because I thought that Japanese anime is what I really want. But I am wrong, it's game animator. Fyi, there's a difference. Bye peeps! Until tomorrow... =]

Ack

2010-01-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

Another day has past. One day follow by the other pass without that day telling me. Today isn't that great. Woke up at around 1pm. Then left for bball training in school at around 2pm.

Time flies and without me knowing, time has advanced to evening, went to cheers. Reminds me of almost everyday during last year. Standard huh. After, went back home and out again to buy dinner. Ate then use com all the way till now, 3am. Oww...

I gonna try out something later on. Weee... Wondering how it will go later on. Oh ya, tomorrow at 330pm gonna meet one guy call hong ding for work at Chinatown. I shall become a first timer and hopefully can get a pro partner...

Going for Ccas is not pathetic at all! Night peep! =D

Opening

2010-01-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

Today morning wake up by brother at 11plus to eat breakfast with family. Zzz. Freaking tired due to lack of sleep. Damn... -.-ll

So after eating, went back to bed to "sleep". Was msg-ing during the whole time so it became trying to fall asleep while chatting on bed. But it was worth it. The reason no need to say. Should know by now! ^^

Then around evening time, went to friend's house and went for work. Today work is fine, just that got lesser friends as usual to talk to. Kinda feels like a stranger over there. Lot of my classmates stopped working there. =(

Today when doing roll call-ing during work, msg snow about some things. Don't feel like digging your past out le now. Haha. But anything wanna know ask me ya! Hehe ...

Wondered how life has changed for me. It is thanks to all bros and friends that I became the Jackson I am today. And of course wondered a lot of other stuffs. Not gonna mention it here through... =x

Reached home at past midnight, had my stomach filled and watch Hi My Sweetheart ep10... Omg, I am addicted to it. I admit it okay! Time now is 4am and damn I wanna ep11! Drama just get better... Just like Anime! =]

Tomorrow afternoon gonna return back to school for bball training... Got 5% of me wanna see teacher. Got 90% of me wanna go bball training. Got 5% of me wanna see old friends. And for overall! Tadah... Got 100% of me wanna make myself as tired as possible... =/

Realise that Xue Hai or Da Lung in Hi My Sweetheart got the same Xue as snow! Sweet! It's like wow... Hehe. And snow is definitely cute! ><

Okay peep... Stay tune for my next update... I have all the time during midnight to morning to blog! My sleeping hours are completely screw up... Yay! ;D

And last thing, sorry for the font colour... I know it sucks. I just don't have the talent for colouring! Weee... Cheers!

And final final final! I wanna kill this person ---> idk.

Hesitation

2010-01-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

3rd of January...

Early morning went to Npcc campcraft training in school. Becoming darker and more tan, damn... Sunburn also... ==''

Early Afternoon was screw up so fuck it man! Freaking frustrated... =]

Afternoon was far better, went to Leung's house then to Pulau Ubin. Lunch there, it was fine, eating with my bros... Filled my stomach afterall! ^^

Then cycle around, enjoy the breeze and the scenery. Up-slope were zomfg and down-slope were phew... Haha taken some photos. =)

And and and of course msg-ing snow! =x

Night time we went back to the Leung's house and I watched Hi My Sweetheart. Damn have reach ep 9. And I heard that the next ep is release on Monday. =D

Tomorrow night gonna work at swiss. I also booked next week work which I think is kind of fucked-up. Tuesday afternoon 3-11 at Chinatown. Damn new place, hope things will be fine. Friday afternoon 5-11 at Outram park. Sunday 7-1130 at Swiss. ><

Sometimes when there is a option of which path to go. You will start to wonder where it will lead you to. Consider equal to chance? Weee... Wish I got the ability to read that person mind!

Annoyed

2010-01-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

This few days, I get fucking super ultra easy to be irritated. So sorry guys if I shouted or hit at any living objects. Annoyed at myself. Haiz, enough of this. Next! ==''

Last night, went to countdown at Marina Square with all the tms sec people. Wait, I should start from morning... So played bball match, got a new couple of bros, I guess... The match was fine bah.

And let's see, yea the countdown. The firework is nice! So after that, went to Sim Pang Bedok eat. Cb the prata came 1 hour later. Then paid Dan cab at crossfire. Walked home with co. Had fun I guess... Reach home around 4 plus. Slept at 5 plus.

Then continuing, wake at afternoon, then went out with Ah Peng! Heh, went to parkway to buy his stuffs. Before that, I ate alone at the market. Found out I have being eating alone for most of the time. Damn...

Went to parkway, then went to Tamp1 and Tamp Mall to buy stuffs. Ate some korean food with him and finally back home. Bath and all of a sudden, fucking annoyed. Have no idea why.

Haiz... Why does it have to be family first, friends second. Or rather, why am I the opposite? How I wish things could get better. And happy new year bastards and bitches. Thanks you fuckers for making my 2009 fun. =D

Am watching drama again.

Drama

2009-12-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

Well... Another day. Which is the 30th of Dec. December is gonna end soon. And things and stuffs are getting weirder to me. Maybe all the past feelings are gone. And I found myself different. Things are changing. That include emotion. By the way, me typing this way. Is Fucking Not Emo. =]

Heh today wake up at around afternoon time. Then shortly after, went to eat lunch with my dad. Hah long long time one time go eat with him. Found that only way to sustain my family is through eating. Weird huh. Then I did house cleaning for the whole day until evening then. Reason being, the house i gonna change clothes! Painting! Weee... =D

After cleaning, I watched drama. Can't believe right, Jackson watching drama... I must say that the world is spinning and rotating. One day pigs can fly too! Hehe, played a match of dota with 2 idiot. Ermmm then continue watch drama until around 230am. Addictive huh! Haha now watching "Hi My Sweetheart". Shall watch "Autumn Concerto" and "Momo Love" after. XD

People really do change me. I thought to myself. Why am I watching drama. Then why do I blog. And why do I watch anime. Hahaha motherfucker... Things is so gonna be so freaking different next year in school. Provided that I am not inside ccss anymore. But I will be back! Haha. Okay shall stop here because tomorrow there gonna be a bball match!

Chai Chee Secondary School playing against
Old's school+Boardrick Secondary School+Johnny's friends

To say the truth. I didn't want to blog because I love the song on the previous post. And and last thing. Welcome back all the people that went overseas. Best of luck to you guys! =p.

_l_emo

2009-12-29T09:54:00.000-08:00

First thing first. I am not fucking emo! Drill it in your brain. Okay enough. ==''

And second thing. Stop fucking saying I act this or act that. I fucking had enough of that also. ==''

Finally third thing. Gonna summaries today! Or should I say ytd which is the 29 of Dec. Basically I wake up at 820am. Went for bball training, and played bball until around 2pm. Went home bath and take a nap until 4pm. Then finally had my first meal which is at around 5pm. Go for work then until 1130pm. Walk around Bedok for food until 1am. Back home use computer until 4am I guess.

Lastly which is fourth thing. How does Meteor sounds to you as a bball team name?

Mid

2009-12-28T04:14:00.000-08:00

Things has being up and down recently for me...
Even through the wave is calm...
Not much stuffs going on...
Feel that I am being left behind...
Or am I advancing too fast...
Things are changing again...
Just like the past days...
It's always changing...
Not giving me enough time to react...
Do I even need to react in the first place...
Life is going sideways for me...
Have to click the refresh on my brain...

A new year is going to come!
Should I be happy or sad for it.
Everything is gonna change within a day.
I know something will happen.
Complicated mixed emotions. Weee...
I am tired... =]

Beginning

2009-12-27T07:15:00.000-08:00

Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart

Stop all the activity... Ignore all the existence... Be back myself...

26th December... Went for campcraft training, and obviously I was late by around 20 mins. It was fine I guess, taught my juniors lot of stuffs. Then chiong back home to meet up with mom and bro to head out to Bugis. However it started pouring, it's like wad the fuck. And throughout the day, there's a little argument here and there, but it is common I guess. =.=

And did I mention that I was awake at 730am and didn't have any food. Starving, we waited for the rain to be smaller. Then finally, went to Bugis to have dinner at some chinese restaurant the one at the corner. It was filling, like all the way up. Damn need to exercise le. Then my bro went to grandma house. My mom and me went back home... Guess wad, I am so sleepy I sleep immediately after reaching home. The time is like 6pm... ><

27th December... Weeee... I slept all the way till 1pm. Cool. Being long time since I sleep so long. I was really really very exhausted I think. Then wake le, kind of blur what the hell happened. After a while, on my computer and on maplestory. Hahaha... Don't ask why please. Maybe is natural reaction. A while later, proceed to Bedok interchange to have lunch, everything is like all of a sudden. ._.

Shop a little for the house and went back home, start playing maplestory again... What the hell is wrong with my life right? Kao... Then around night time, accompany my mom go Tamp for something. Come back alone to my house, which is empty, all went out. Eyer... Haiz...

Tomorrow morning gonna go ball. Heeeh. Long time no touch ball. Crap. Anyway will not be free on Tuesday and Sunday night.

Keep having the idea of today being Monday. Monday fast fast come. Which is tomorrow. Hehe... Endure endure. Time tough don't last, tough man do! =D

Yes No

2009-12-25T10:11:00.000-08:00

Yawn... Exhausted because not enough rest last night. Damn I need to sleep more. However, it was worth the time I guess... Haiz, I guess I overdid my actions for a bit. Need to pull back and think properly again. Anyway, things is getting better slowly... Even if it's ant movement, it is better...

On the 24 Dec was fun. Went to wild wild wet with my buddies... Anyway I will intro their name and know them as my buddies. Those few retards are Kai Yiu, Kai Ho and Wei Ming, that's all. So cab to wild wild wet as we were late, had a great time there as it is free. Thanks for a feller up there. Hehe...

After, cab to Parkway ajisen for dinner! Followed by snow ice. What the hell, I swear this month not gonna take a cab again. Unless urgent matters. Spend too much money... So then we went to play pool at Katong. By the way, my ear got infection, swollen like what the fuck. Hahaha...

On the 25 Dec was fun too. Went to have lunch with my brother. Then meet up with the usual one to play pool again. At the same table at the same place. It was fun! Hehe... After meet up with my buddies for dinner at Suntec City. Had some Asia food, forgotten the name le. Then walk the fountain of wealth thingy where people wish for stuffs... I wished and one of it is this "hope everyone that i know pass O level cause i dun wan to see anyone fail just like one of my bro did in N level."

After, went back to Bedok for supper and finally back home. And started playing Maplestory! Wow and surprise right?! Must admit I really wanna go back to old times. Where playing maple is such an enjoyment and furthermore, it is a super slow pace game... Finally reach level 15 in a few hours. Will continue play when I am free. Hehe...

And talk about a bit of tomorrow. The time now is gonna to be 3am. And I need to be awake at 7am later... Which is 4 hours. God... Just kill me please someone... Anyway going for a sun tanning session. Npcc campcraft! Going back to help out on the unit... Heh going to catch my sleep like now! Bye peep... Until the next time.

I didn't want to be mistaken... At any cost. I know the way I form my sentence suck big time. And so that's how I get into big and small stuffs... But that's how I am... Stupid me. ==''

Weee

2009-12-22T21:47:00.000-08:00

And yet another post by Jackson. Well today's post is created in the afternoon because someone went to watch Avatar! And it is around 3 hours long... Damn, it will finish in another hour time I guess. Faster faster! =(

So on Monday, had my first left ear piercing at tamp! Went with someone and it's not that painful man! Damn you! Keep laughing, at least I didn't cry okay! Hehe... Thanks lah huh. After went to watch movie. Being so long since I watch any movie or show except for animes. Then after then send her back and went home. Fun day! =D

And on Tuesday, morning went for bball training, afternoon went out with my bros to tamp, night time went to coach area for night bball game. Morning training was fine, afternoon movie was okay, night game was not good. Went home then play impossible quiz. It is like commit suicide game. Haha. Funny! Spend whole midnight playing it... Thanks to this xuetin. Hehe... ^^

And on Wednesday, morning still half sleeping. Hahha. Afternoon at home use com. Haven't eat my lunch. Aww man, just skip it and wait for dinner! Weee... Easier that way. Night gonna stay at home as well. Hungry... ==''

Number has increase to 510.
Wondering if it can really hit 4 digit or not...
So what am I gonna do with it after I receive it?! ._.

Sometimes I can't breathe and I wonder how I can save myself...

Two

2009-12-19T20:55:00.000-08:00

Phew. Didnt update for like 2 or 3 days?. Nevermind, here to type a few words. Recently just get to understand something about myself. Not gonna post it up here through. Hehe... Holidays are ending soon for the sec3 people. =]

As for me... I have a longer holiday which extend all the way till around Feb? Not too sure through, gonna continue to work and try go out with new friends? Hehe... My personal goal for next year, gain back confidence and braveness. And the other, set some more goals for myself. =)

And lastly, congrats to those that make it to sec5. And those that didnt make it, do consider what you gonna do for now huh. Kinda boost me morale up for my Os results. Glad that all my bros get promoted except for one. Damn fuck... And hey gotta confess something here! ^^

Even through I always say I will get 8 to 10 points for my Os, it's actually okay for me to get a score of 16 points. Reason is simple, the course requirement I wanted is not as high as it is. I didn't know how much I wanted to score as I didn't know what course I wanna take before my Os. So I aim as low as possible. Hahaha... XD

Life has become interesting for me. Just recently, two days ago? Funny that I am able to hook people to me. Hehe... Only those that I feel like telling plus when I ran out of story then I will tell. Is like haha damn... I wanna be a girl! *wink*

And and and... Know I shouldn't interfere, but a bit won't die. Nigel and Aron chill down man. Brothers for so long le, quarrel so many times le. Everyone knows everyone pattern de wad. Relax and talk properly la... Like what you guys always did. =[

Okay. Post is coming to an end. The 3 digit number has become 485. It is slowly advancing to 4 digit. Weeee.... Stay tune people. =D

Weak

2009-12-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

I am a fucker that is physically and mentally weak, I think... I always fucking tend to give things up very easily. Take the freaking running for example. I swear I stopped and walked for at least 5 mins thinking of this weird depressing sentence, "why am I running, why, why, why". Chicken... In the past, I have a reason for running, to aim for top10 for cross country.

Due to that reason, I tried working hard, but failed miserably. Will never forget the last moment of getting placing 11. Fucking weak and stupid position. Damn dumb fucker me. Just show how weak I am. But then what about now, up till now, I still cannot find the perfect reason to work so hard... Was so troubled over the reason during the run till I decided to wonder and think of the reason after it, then I continue running toward the end.

What I am trying to reason out is, everyone does something for a reason. Regardless clever or stupid, have a positive or negative effect, good outcome or bad outcome, it has a purpose and reason behind it. Sorry the above example is too indirect. But if your like the kind of me that does something stupid or silly or ridiculous stuffs, then be prepare to be caught by the police or be prepare to face something negative or something you have never expected to happen.

Tomorrow N level result will be release. Going to school to see who failed. Weee... Finally huh. It will be exciting man, tomorrow!

the 3 digit number has increase to 435...
wondering if i can hit it to 4 digit or not...

Today

2009-12-16T08:08:00.000-08:00

Until you come back by Akon... Nice song! Thank Johnny for reminding. =O

Today morning went to run 9.8km. Afternoon meet up with my bros to play billiard. Night went to Marina Square eat steamboat! Overall, it was fun... Even through went home quite early, around 1030pm. ^^

And one more fucking thing, I am fucking getting chee bye sick. Damn sorethroat and cold... Wish someone could have knock me out with a hammer or something. Maybe bang wall? Tomorrow going to bring some people along to my workplace. XD

Wonder if there is any chance of returning, even if it's 0.1% chance of you coming back, I will be glad to fight for it. Realise ytd that in the past, you have given me tons of chances, just that I didn't grab hold tightly of you. =)

Maybe things were bit too messy for you and me in the past. No one knows what we really wanted. Neither do us, we kept too much things, not letting each other knowing. Remember about clearing the messy life you had and make it simple? At least now your not lying to yourself. So all is good! I guess... =]

It's not about the post being emo. That is how I post things. It may be fucking emo to you but it looks okay to me. Maybe my english standard too low to make it cheerful huh! Have to add more vulgar to looks more happy ah. ==''

Sky

2009-12-15T09:05:00.000-08:00

Wee... Today morning 8 plus wake up go bball training. Afternoon around 1 plus went to meet up with Guanan, Danah, Ronald, Rashana, not forgetting Desiree! Our lunch was at KFC, damn fast food. Hate it...

Anyway, cab down to ECP and met up with some more people. Went back home early around 5 plus as there's family dinner. Play ps3 until around 7 plus then make my way to ECP again! Some strangers were there, I didn't know them.

Surprising, the 6 sister were there. Wad de motherfuck. I had lot of fun with my classmates, have to admit... Wonder when I will meet with them again. Soon I hope! Later sent Liwei back home and agree to Danah for a run later at 8am.

It's 1am now and I will have 7 hours of sleep! Weee... Not enough sleep again damn. Will sleep for around 6 hours. Need to prepare before heading out. And night time will have dinner with my buddy. Heeee...

Realise I think too much... Reading our past conversation now. It was like wow... We chat everyday from evening to midnight... Things has really changed. I was so close man... Everything is so serious and all. All the fights and quarrel. Stupid me, so don't understand you. Haiz... 5/23/09. How the hell we managed to pull it through huh. The past is so interesting! You even ask "no matter what happen, will we still be friend?", but I guess you forgotten already. Hah.

Joke of the day - I am working at the hotel, $6 per hour, wanna hire me? =p

Cloud

2009-12-14T09:47:00.001-08:00

Wishing that I can have the power to change things back to the way it is.
Or maybe things are already this way long before I know...

Things just don't go according to expected.
Or is there even any expectation to follow or accomplish...

I am not being forgiven after all this time.
Or maybe saying forgotten is a easier way out...

I realise a human purpose is to stay happy and cheerful. Afterall, it is why everyone is working so hard for. Who love to stay sad and being emotional huh... No one.

Had no idea what I am typing. Any living soul nothing to do. Help me explain what I have just wrote. In fact just elaborate it for me, thanks.

Okay from here, let's talk about some sensible stuff. Over the past few months. I learn lots of stuff about human being. There are different kinds but I am going to talk about people like Dan and Me! Not trying to boost us being good or what.

But we are the sort that rather don't talk at all than to complain A to Z. We listen to all kinds of shit, positive or negative. But end of day, we decide whether to agree or disagree on it. It short, we take in advise, good or bad. And obviously we try to become a better person! Cheers... =]

Suddenly remember you saying in the past why you give one word reply.
First - You are in a very bad mood or rather no mood.
Second - He did something wrong and you bu shaung him.
Third - You can't be bothered at all by his actions and words.
Fourth - He did a scar on you and you cannot forgive him at all.

Hope I am thinking too much. Weee.... Bball bbq house dinner tomorrow. Busy day it gonna be... XD

Weee

2009-12-12T22:12:00.001-08:00

Wooo... This is my dream! See video in link below!

Click Here or Here or Here or Here.

Post will continue tonight or tomorrow early 12 midnight. =]

Time now is 2am plus going to 3am. Let's see, Around 2pm ytd, went to play bball in mpcc... It was terrible, playing as the point guard on a 5v5 match. Realised that I have not improve at all. Not even a tiny slightest bit. Wonder what is all the training for.

Kind of hard and sad to believe that I cannot lead 5 players down the court despite thinking that I can. Guess this is what happen to someone like me who always treat and think things easily. It don't feel good to know that no one understand your mood at all and stuff.

For people who want to understand me, try thinking that you are a commando in a battlefield, and you lost all your objective, comrade. Not just that, trusts, believes and confidences are lost as well. Alone in the battlefield, no one to share emotions and things, it's plain metal.

Is like, the lack of ability to gain something what I truly wanted. No matter how much I long for it, I will not get it. As simple as that. It has always being the same, ever since I was a child. Nevermind, shall aim and work towards it.

After the bball, cab down to City Hall for work. Talked to the uncle in the cab, saying he was a bball coach in the past, and how he say about how to play bball. Listen listen, then he talk about talented players, I was like, uncle I lost like a noobass fucker just now, and you talk about this now, ccb... By the way, I didn't tell him that. Respect...

Work until 1130pm. Today I realise that it is freaking easy to get a boy girl relationship during working or after working. Is like, extremely easy to hook someone in my workplace, okay maybe not that easy. As simple as that, is like there are chances. Lots of chances to grab or release. More and more doors are opening. However, I will not get one because I will not get one. Haha...

Today I thought to myself, how a couple can still stay together when one is in one country, while the other is on the other country. It is like lying. Damn... And I wonder how the guy can actually be able to stand and bear the girl to fly to some other country for further studies. Is like won't see each other for months or years. Isn't that a unstoppable force breakup or something. Maybe I am still a boy, so I dunno all this. ^^

Way back into love...

Don't write me off just yet...

Beautiful songs from Music and Lyric. A really thumb up movie I watched.

华文-GG

2009-12-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

哈哈。Damn, I failed, miserably. Thought of using Chinese for this entire post but it cannot be done. It's impossible. Stuck immediately after the first two letter. Anyway tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, Sat and Sun, I will be working in the night.

And good news for everyone, receive study, EAGLE award, $200 in my pocket on January. Weee... Proud! Thanks for encouraging me to study and threatening not to talk to me in the past. Not for those shit, I might not study for my Prelim 2 and O level. And obviously not getting the award. Heee... Motivation and morale seriously will help in pushing oneself out of our limit and improve greatly. Thanks you.

Next Tues will be out for whole day I guess. Will post what gonna happen after it. Wed going for steamboat with my feller best friends! Canceled my work that day just to eat with you guys. You guys dare pai sei or say dun wan go I punch your face and rape your ass personally. Follow tightly after, Thur, Fri, Sat and Sun all working in the night.

Today I realise something, which is probably crap that everyone know. But a gentle reminder won't hurt right? People only appreciate or regret over what they or other people done after they lost it. It's kinda stupid now that I thought of it. Because I didn't appreciate what I have in the past. And obviously regretting doing saying playing fucking screwing and of course, being unreasonable. Who cares now I type all this.

Another things I notice which is very important. Human feelings can really be ignore at time or in fact, everytime! Just like how I always treat people, for most of the time. My friends should know that I don't care about their feelings at all and spill out whatever is in my mind. Those who know me well enough should know that. Even if it is on purpose and you know it. I would still like to say a "Sorry I really mean it" or a "Sorry I dun mean it", or a "Sorry I mean it the other way". Because this three sentence won't come out from my mouth. And remembered I tend to say this "I am a honest boy, no point lying to you". This is purely a excuse to cover up for my fucking attitude. So bear with me lady and gentleman. Hehee...

Here

2009-12-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

Wee... Three days never post forget wanna write wad le. Lost the passion to blog I guess... Nevermind will still try and squeeze out some words here.

Today bball in the morning. Lie down on bed for whole afternoon. Bball in the night again. That it for the day. Tomorrow gonna be a bad day for me I think. Haha.

Anyway the number has gone up to 370. Hmm... What else can I type here? Started listening to all the english songs again. Maybe because they are fine. Lol random, I just realise. So skip this part and let me move to another section.

Let's talk about my dream. Might be boring for you readers, but who cares. Young I wanted to be policeman. But now, lol lucky it is a dream. Don't think a lot people know about my past experiences, not gonna talk about it. Want know go find out your own.

So now, current dream. I wanna go to a course call Moving Image, a design course in TP. It will not be easy at all. In fact, it will be fucking difficult. Basically, I can be a animator as a future job and blablabla. And that's what I am going to achieve.

However that's not all, I wanna help design a game and under the section animation, it shall be my name! Be part of the development team or something like that. It's a dream however... Will work towards it huh.

By the way, it's not all the camera work, it's all the computer work. So yeah, I wanna join Square Enix, so I will have to learn Japanese too in polytechnic if possible. Now this post is lot more interesting! Proud of myself. By the way, a reminder, it is a dream.

Not forgetting basketball. No idea how to walk this path. So it will be a side dream. But will train and play it as my core sport. Heeee... With this I end this post. Take care everyone. Do die early.

*Realised I bullshit-ed too much. Sorry for this boring post. =]

Things will never be the same again. Screw it and move on is what I will do.

Misses

2009-12-08T06:40:00.000-08:00

Today happening. Morning wake up went to Tekong as my brother has graduated from Basic Military Training. Stayed all the way till evening then dinner at Pasir Ris.

Enough words, photo time.

Full of green army...

No need explain.

Brother and meee... =]

No idea what is going on now. Confused over stuffs and stuffs. Got no chance to talk to you. Basically have no aim and target now. Only purpose I have for around one year is gone I guess. Funny thing is it cannot be make better. Living dead zombie can be use to describe me. Have brain but not using it at all.

Want to ask about the ring. But has no chance at all. Don't think that you have the mood anyway. Scare I ruin it again. Haha. Sign... Take care of it. It's your birthday gift. Sorry!

Remembered that funny way of you calling me in secondary school "TNX!!!" make me smile whenever I thought of it. Your the only one that called me that. Lol! Nice memories. =]

begin to open up my heart slowly bit by bit le. gonna become that old crazy fucking bastard jackson toh nan xing soon. give me a while more and i prove it.

3 digit number --> 350 (gonna make it to 4 digit)
i'll review what the number is when it become 4 digit. <3

Worst

2009-12-07T10:03:00.000-08:00

This few days have being thinking...
Without a slightest trace of you around...
How much things has change for me...
Occasionally my mind will think of meaningful quote...
Too much for me to note down in here...

One man makes a loner who is weak, useless and pitiful at all times.

Two man makes a couple which is strong, brave and inseparate when held tightly.

Three man and more makes a team which is say to be united, powerful and fearless.

Humans live to eat. Without eating, people will stave and die eventually.

Having something rare, special or unique will cause others to be jealous.
Saying not jealous when asked is obviously a lie.
No one have a heart of gold which can have this function, see and go.

Wondering how I am going to spend my future time.
According to my brother situation, I wonder if I will break down and malfunction.
Perhaps I will change and adapt to it. Who knows huh...

Jack

2009-12-06T04:30:00.000-08:00

Carried out my plan. Morning went out eat with bro and dad. Weee... Bought Gta4 and earpiece. Cb third time buy same de earpiece what the fuck... Stayed at home use ps3 and computer for whole day.

Thanks for all the bday wish.

Now gonna write down next week plan and activity.
Monday work night.
Tuesday bro passing out parade.
Wednesday work morning.
Thursday bball.
Friday free.
Saturday work night.
Sunday work night.

Feel that you and me have being lying to ourselves for a long time in order to stay happy and cheerful. It's all fake. Can't keep it up, it's tiring... When is the last time you are really really happy huh. Try and recall...

Six

2009-12-05T10:41:00.001-08:00

Weee... 3am and still here. Here to upload photo of me me me and me.

The afternoon Jack!

The afternoon Jack!

The night Jack!

The night Jack!

*Black, White and Purple is being loved... =]

Here's the summary of today.

Morning wake went to bball training at coach area. Have got more people for training so it is fun! It is always fun when there is a ball around.

Afternoon played ps3. Bro bought Enchanted 2 while I was balling in the morning. Went home like what the hell... Another game. Haha. Okay start immediately!

Evening went to work at city hall all the way until midnight. Work today is extremely relaxing and easy. Two person serve one table. Woohooo... After went back home.

Midnight played ps3. Played Assassin Creed 2 this time. All the way till he say he is tired. Wahaha... Last man standing is me! Still here to upload photos and update blog. ^^

No idea why, but the feeling I have now is a fully completely open heart. Unlike the past few months. Now feel damn relief and comfortable. Hopefully it will not turn back any sooner. Funny thing is not because of anyone through. Maybe I am just glad that I was born to see this world. Mood now is kinda cheerful! XD

Later plan is... Morning go out with bro to eat breakfast and to buy my selected gift, a earpiece! Lost mine few days ago. Grrgh... And let's see... Afternoon all the way camp at home. That's the plan for now! That's all readers. Bye bye... Until tomorrow end. =]

Thinking back about the past may not be a bad thing. At least there are times when we joke and laugh. It all started with a random yet interesting and will never forget word "library". Will never forget that's the first time I solo and went out with a girl. In fact, with anyone except for my mother! Hehee. However, things don't work this way. Weee.... Wonder if everything is good for you or not. Must be good because in newspaper never see you. Wahaha... Not gonna continue this post, I scare it might continue all the way till tomorrow. Dare to post, dare to let people see. =)

Random Photos

2009-12-04T07:21:00.001-08:00

As the title say, random photos... Just some through, never take lot of it. =p

Start of with random photo. Winter... =]

Loving happy four gays... Watching bball match. XD

Me playing taptap. Losing Dan currently. Freak...

Me and Shana! 4eb gathering.

Shana and Desiree! 4eb gathering.

Tian Qi and mee...

Eating bbq at geylang. =)

That's all for now. Taking lesser photo as days goes... =D

Money

2009-12-04T04:57:00.000-08:00

Woohooo! After another long day. Finally back to the same old location, home. Woke at 530am for ytd and today. Basically today was no different from ytd except for the night part. Went to eat with my mom at City Hall, bought some clothes and back home. That is about it. =)

Recently being thinking all day long. How it will be if I am not me, I am others instead. How I will react to stuffs and all. It kind of make sense after I think of all this. I didn't smile, laugh and joke as much now as it bring back past memories. Walking back the roads reminds me of a lot of things. Happy, unhappy. It can be prevented, but I screw it up, unfortunately. XD

Quotes

2009-12-03T03:24:00.000-08:00

Watashi gonna write some random quotes which all of a sudden pop out of my mind, so pay attention people. It is not gonna be long. =]

I may not be right, but it does not prove that you are right.
Lying to myself is difficult and almost impossible, but can be done.
Organising time properly is essential to win everything.
Start to think positively after every unexpected stuff that happened.
There is always people living in a far worst condition than us.
After every dark cloud comes a bright sun, but always stay alert.
Beware of the thunder clouds that is coming the second next.
Winners are not afraid of losing, losers are.

Okay peep got to go, bball game gameeee.... back then continue. XD

edited* The bball game is fine. Gonna sleep now! Waking at 530am tomorrow, same as ytd. Freaking tired now to think of anything. So goodbye peep, get ready for my next post. =)

Hope you are doing fine. Haizzz...

Wonders

2009-12-02T05:58:00.000-08:00

Must be tough to maintain a life this way huh... =)

How are you

2009-11-30T07:09:00.000-08:00

Wahaha... Shall start from Nov 29. Forgotten what I have done in the morning and afternoon... Maybe Ps3 Assassin Creed 2 during that period of time. Anyway evening to midnight work, then cab to friend's house and sleep there. Intended to send friend off, but not very obvious, overslept and never go for it. =D

And here is Nov 30. Went to eat at Pasir Ris and went back home. From there, mrt back to Bedok and head home. Changed a set of clothes to bball attire and carry books to school. Reached school, chat for a bit, then went to marine parade community centre. Bball there till night, then home sweet home. Leg injured... Damn. Finger recovering. Yayy... =)

Found out my blog is kinda boring, without photos and bla bla bla. Furthermore, this blog never serve its main purpose. To let people know more about my current mood and stuff like that. For your information. I am a very shy person. Just I am shy and brave at the same time, I am able to shit all those shit out. So I gonna start the crap now so listen up forks...=]

Struck here for too long around 30 mins so decided not to type any shit out here... Just one sentence through, Life is "great" this few fucking months... Cheers. Stay tune you mother born bastards and bitches. =p

don't even have confident to type hi and enter it. i should go to hell if there is one. fucking no balls i am in. shit... =(

Work

2009-11-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

Phew... Mood kinda unstable this few days. Thought of the meaning of life again. Surprisingly I feel like wanting to throw this away
"Playing the game life with my own sets of unique rules".

Instead I will slowly adapt to this newest one
"Accept changes and change according to my mind".
Have no idea why I picked this, just pop out of my head. Maybe am too tired... Life has being meaningless. Anyway this will be my working date - Sunday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Which means I have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday free for fucking! Great... Night people. =]

Tuesday is slash out as there is bball training. (edited)

Yawn

2009-11-27T05:10:00.000-08:00

Gonna post about today. Short and sweet it is gonna be. Morning went Bedok eat breakfast, brought Assassin Creed 2, camp at home whole afternoon playing it. Night use computer, maybe play dota later. Tomorrow not going to online, going to be out the whole day. Morning training, afternoon family stuff, 4Eb gathering and finally work. Should be home by 1am. End! =D

And I fixed the music shit, and here's the lyrics... Thanks Eugene for this random song, not bad bah I think. Rock and Classic. Found out I only talk to two person today, mother and brother. ^^

Welcome home by Coheed And Cambria

You could have been all I wanted
But you weren't honest
Now get in the ground
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
You would have endured my world

Well if you're just as I presumed
A whore in sheep's clothing
Fucking up all I do
And if so here we stop
Then never again
Will you see this in your life

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest, is A love ever longed
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to all of these songs

You stormed off to scar the armada
Like Jesus played myartar
I'll drill through your hands

The stone for the curse you have blamed me
With love and devotion, I'll die as you sleep.

But if you could just write me out
To nerveless wonder... happy will I become
Be true that this is no option,
So with sin I condemn you
Demon pray, Demon out.

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest is our love ever longed
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to all of these songs

One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl,
I'd do anything for you

One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl
Before I hope you die.

Post

2009-11-26T08:23:00.000-08:00

Finally post instead of past came out... Yay. Honestly I am slowly getting sick of all of this. Cut the crap and continue the shit ya. Dunno why... maybe lost too much confident and the mind to do crazy things. Things has cool down by a whole lot. Is like yawn, fuck it, the same old stuffs, can't be bothered anymore... Emotional has being on the good side as time goes. Phew... Not sure it is good or bad. =) or =(, decide one bastards and bitches. XD

So let's talk about the 26 of Nov 2009. It was a beautifully scorching hot day, wake up late for bball training which starts at nine. Therefore, I cab down and ran to school... Luckily I was not late. Woo! Kinda fun as my fucking fingers recovered by a lot, even through the skin still tore, not yet recover. But I can feel it baby, the ball in my hands. Ahhwooo~... =D

So after training, shot some balls. Then went to computer lab1, see dota, see videos, identify bball team problems, not forgetting chatting with some unconsidered people. After went to play bball again till late afternoon. From there, I went to Npcc as they were setting up the notice board... It was great I thought, just too colourful, but the photos were great. *got me and my bros mah* of course nice lah... By the way. Bball team notice board were great too. *got me and my bros mah* of course nice lah... =]

Went back ate my dinner and proceed to coach area play bball. Today got praise, was not bad I guess. But I miss one freaking three-point shot and I still think my passing too weak. Places to improve on baby... Got lesser turnover so yeah, not bad. Then bring the ballers to coffee shop eat and went back home. o.O

One advise to all skinny and potential gonna become fat sooner or later if not gonna exercise any sooner or later people... Please go and fucking exercise and stop nibbling on chips or snacks in the freaking night. Imagine next year go school all the fat people walking around... Oh my god, gonna be so dotz... So please slim down bastards and bitches. No offense through, for your own good, think for yourself. Cheers! =)

Back

2009-11-24T19:26:00.001-08:00

After quite some time, am back to blog, I guess. Didn't blog as I was busy, no time allowance to blog. Anyway talk about yesterday. 24 Nov was the date. It was a blast (kaboom)... Thought gonna faint or something. Didn't sleep then went for bball training. Whole body shaking like mad, can't balance myself. Luckily, It was nothing, recovered with time. =Q

Then, the ballers came my house to play dota and ps3 for the second time. Was fun. After, dinner at nearby and they went back. I went back and spend my time dota-ing. Too exhausted, thus sleep at 11 plus... =D

Okay, and now about the day before yesterday. 23 Nov was the date. Forgotten what happened in the morning, but watched paranormal activity before that date. Afternoon everyone come to my house to play dota and ps3 for the first time. Was fun too, but the main objective is for a run. =]

Let's talk about the run, basically it's a ticket from my house all the way to east coast park. Make a few detour of course, then it will be fun. Rested at ECP for a while, then continue running back to my house. In midway something sucky happened. Not gonna type out here... Stamina and the correct breathing is a must. So they went back to bath and to my house to dota and ps3 again. Went dinner then come back my house play again. Then they went back at around 12. =)

Finally, my turn... Don't wanna talk much about it. Kinda stupid and useless. Basically, I went to the airport to eat breakfast then go meet with Dan and go for bball training. Hahaha... Anyway thanks for the 10 bucks. =P

Guess this is it people. Gonna end my post with a words my mind is thinking now. Struck here for 30 mins le. No idea what my mind is thinking. Too confused and tired I guess. Maybe bearing a pain might not be necessary if open to medicine and cure. Why suffer when one can choose... Okay that's it. Bye peep. XD

Superman

2009-11-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

Superman by Lamont.

cos i can be your superman yeah
oh if you let me baby yeah

i'd run into a burning building (oh)
jump in front of a train (oh)
not even take a bullet,
to make sure you're ok (oh)
no matter when you call me
girl i'll always be there
i'll be your superhero
so haters should beware

i hate to see you hurt
and i hate to see you cry (you cry)
but don't worry girl
cos i'm not that other guy (oh no)
i'm something special,
i'm something that you've never seen
(you've never seen yeah)
i'm coming to your rescue
that's when i hear them scream

it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
i'm your superman, (super) superman
(super) superman, superman
and i'm here to save the day
it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
i'm your superman, (super) superman
(super) superman, superman yeah
and i'm here to save the day

you see i'm more than willing
to take on any villain
i'm ready for whatever stands in our way girl
except for when we fight
it feels like kryptonite
so i'm promising i'ma be the man that you need

i hate to see you hurt (oh)
and i hate to see you cry (see you cry)
but don't worry girl (oh)
cos i'm not that other guy (oh yeah)
i'm something special,
i'm something you've never seen
(i'm something you've never seen yeah)
i'm coming to your rescue
that's when i hear them scream

it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
i'm your superman, i'm your superman
superman, i'm your superman,
superman, superman, superman
oh it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
i'm your superman, i'm your super
superman, (super) superman, superman yeah yeah
and i'm here to save the day

(super, super, super) superman
(super, super) superman

ohhhhh..
it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl (lois lane yeah)
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
(you don't have to be afraid)
i'm your superman, (super) superman
(super) i'm your superman, superman yeah
it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl (you're lois lane girl)
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
i'm your superman, (super) superman
(super) your superman, superman
and i'm here to save the day

oh it's a bird, it's a plane yeah
you're lois lane girl
and it's ok you don't have to be afraid
i'm your superman, (super) superman
(super) superman, superman yeah yeah
and i'm here to save the day

Break up by Mario

(I love you,
But I don’t think I can love you anymore)

[Chorus:] ~Mario~
When I kiss you so good
Why would you wanna break up?
When this loving is so good
Why would you wanna break up?
When I hit that so good
Why would you wanna break up?
When this feeling is so good
Why would you wanna break up?

Loving you, loving you, loving you
When I’m, when I’m
Loving you, loving you
Why would you wanna break up?
(Do anything for you)
Why would you wanna break up?
(See I been driving through your hood)
Why would you wanna break up?

[Gucci Mane:]
Now baby girl had dumped me
She no longer wants me
I’m no longer hired
She said that I’ve been fired
On to the next one
More fish in the sea
Girls are like buses
Miss one, Next fifteen; one comin’
Gucci Mane crazy and his ice game stuntin’
Swag so stupid still the bitch straight dumped me
Over, no more smokin’ doja
Baby girl went AWOL
She used to be my soulja

[Bridge:] ~Mario~
(Don’t) Don’t I lace you with the Gucci?
(Don’t) Don’t I deck you in the Louis?
(Do-on’t) Don't I make your earlobe freeze?
(Don’t) When I dive, I dive deep?

I know I be (gone)
I know I be (gone)
I know I be (Flirtin wit the girls)
I know I be (sayin’ I’ll be right back but take too long)
I know I be (sayin’ I’ll be faithful but I don’t)
I know I be

Makin’ you them promises
Him breakin’ your heart again
Tellin’ you she wasn’t who she was n’ we arguin’
But, baaaby…
[ Mario Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
I looove you…

Oooh!

[Repeat Chorus:]

[Sean Garrett:]
You might be from the hood
But to me girl you’ a model,
Everything that I e-eva seen (in a model)
If you leavin’ baby don’t leave me (till tomorrow
Tonight we gone get a lil typsy (with a bottle)
you gone get me up
I'mma take em down
I'mma change my ways
we can work it out
Girl I wouldn’t be the same if you was wit somebody else
Girl it wouldn’t be the same if I was wit somebody else
I know I made mistakes before
Promise you won’t get hurt no more
I got what you like and you know once you lay down it’s on

[Repeat Chorus:]

[Gucci Mane:]
Why you wanna leave me,
You should wanna tease me,
Baby icing ain’t easy, I make it look easy,
You should cop you’re belly
You should rock Louis
Now it’s fuck shawty
I don’t like Gucci (Gucci, Gucci, Gucci)

Loving you, loving you, loving you
When I’m, when I’m
Loving you, loving you
Why would you wanna break up?
Do anything for you
Why would you wanna break up?
See I been driving through your hood
Why would you wanna break up?

Loving you, loving you, loving you
When I’m, when I’m
Loving you, loving you
Why would you wanna break up?
Do anything for you
Why would you wanna break up?
See I been driving through your hood
Why would you wanna break up?

So would you, break up(break up) yeah
I’m back baby.

Leaving

2009-11-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

Lost for words. No idea what to type in here. But gonna squeeze in words for this post. Maybe write down my thoughts and emotional again? But it is gonna be boring as I feel like a zombie now. Completely shut off my feelings. No idea what to do. Tomorrow will be the day huh. Wondering how many farewell msg u gonna receive. Let's see, around 5 to 8 long essay for sure. Gonna be a very busy day for you. Haha. Somehow, I know it will happen. Don't really care about it too. Can't control human's thinking and doing. Went through so much le, learn quite a number of stuff. Being a slime for so freaking long. Clinging onto you. Am crazy, purposely do those stupid stuff that will cause you of all people to hate me. Haha. Take care ya. Hope that time heals huh... =]

Past

2009-11-21T09:54:00.001-08:00

Title wanted to write Post... but somehow Past... came out of my hand. What the fuck?! Haha. Anyway gonna talk about ytd ytd (after 12 le). And ytd (after 12 le). =]

Ytd ytd was a bit long, it is always long, I guess? Thus am so gonna to summaries it. Morning actually got Xiang work, but somehow and anyhow it is a cmi job. Completely screw up... So in the end, organise a bballer movie outing? 2012 is the show. =p

Early afternoon met up with Dan, bought the tickets for night and starbuck green tea latte. I wanna drink again! So anyway we went to Mac. Then Ern came, and Xiang came. Went to Ern's house to play and later Gene came. Reach Tamp Shaz came. Woohooo! And we went to the movie, after slack at some random voiddeck. Everyone return home after. xd

Photos for the day...

Well... Photo shows a thousand words. =)

Ah Dan arh. =p

At Mac... =]

Dun ask. ==''

Anyone?!

Before movie.

Toilet! Boy in black.

Big or small. Come bet.

Ern took this. >< Except for me, went to Changi Airport T1 as Wen Ting is going back. Through nothing much happen but still, won't get to see her anymore? Damn... Then went to eat with Zhang Hao, Chen Hong and Zi Jing, return home after. Sleep at around 3 or 4 am. ><

As for ytd, my bro came back from ns and woke me up at around 9am. Is like damn... Back again. And so a early breakfast then bought ps3 game, modern warfare 2. Played ps3 the whole afternoon then finally, went to work at 6pm. Today work was kinda okay. Not too tiring, not too relaxing. Was fine and fun. Get to know quite a number of faces. Then played ps3 till 2am which is today and chatting in msn with people. ;o

Not much expression nowadays. Problems not solve. Misunderstanding not told. Past not forgotten. Present not cherishing. Mistake not being forgive. Chances not given. There is no "what's next". No solution. Leaving soon, gonna leave it untouch. Even without a wound, touching a scar would hurt as well. Muaahahaha... Everyday cheerful, the only emotion I can show and tell. =]

After so much happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, shock, understanding. All sort of fun and interesting stuff that everyday we look forward to, finally got given up. Admit I did say bored when using msn. With your accompany then not bored le wad. Must say until entertainer so what the fuck meh. Nevermind forget it. Can't change the past.
24 Nov... Take care? ==''

Bball

2009-11-19T07:32:00.001-08:00

Even through the air around now is dead. I decided to blog as the bball camp is not something that happen everyday. Overall, I would give it a 3/5 star hardcore camp, it is a camp that prepare the team physically and mentally. Keeping a high morale is a must, I know myself. The moment I step into the first reporting formation, I know it will not be easy. However pushing everyone past their limit is part of my job. As a motivator of course, lot of things happen, and I will try and go through each day in detail. I realise that time is short, time is always ticking. That is a fact that no one can ever ever change. Probably that is why I reacted this way today, kind of stupid but well fuck it.

Note* For every mistake and timing that is miss, we receive push up and sit up *(regardless got do one or not) for it, I will refer it to FUCK, so it will be more understandable as there is tons and lots of it.

Day one, reporting time is at 830. We reported late, and yep we got FUCK. Next is the checking of bags, unpack and pack a couple of times. And we failed to meet the timing, we got FUCK. Then we carry all the stuff to Ava room to place at one side. I think we got FUCK too because we didn't help each other and we move too slow. Next, we were to clean Ava room, sweep and clean the area. Not forgetting cleaning the green mat. Obviously we failed to meet the timing, therefore we were FUCK.

Then I think we have our first bball training in the court. Before the training, because we didn't off the air conditioner and lock the door, we were FUCK. I sprint back to off and lock it of course. Anyway during training, I shot a total of 8 air ball, 2 in ball and the rest all miss, reason was simple cause I sucks. Then, after being FUCK during bball training, we finally get to bath. It was kinda fun, within 10 mins everyone must be ready. I guess we did it, can't really remember, anyway we were given a short rest and we watch coach national champion video. All of a sudden, we were asked to change to our white bball clothing. We went down to the court, and some school is there. Forgotten what school. Anyway we lost, but we did improve overall. We were being FUCK and called to bath after. Then we have our dinner.

Had a early rest, the time is around 7 pm. And this is the *FUCK* session, basically we had multiple changing parade. We got FUCK around as we couldn't achieve the given timing. Later we were being FUCK like hell and seriously continue to being FUCK around. Reason being coach friends, the instructors, came. And their reason to come is to FUCK us. Only the few of us know how FUCK it is. Anyway, with that FUCK session ended, we bath and sleep almost immediately as everyone is worn out. *(There was a 2.4km run on the first day which I forgot which slot is it) Day one of the camp end.

Day two finally begin, reporting time is 630. We had our early breakfast and got FUCK by Mr.Tan as we couldn't shout out while reporting. Then we get our rest again until 830. Until the next instruction came, to take a cab to Seng Kang Community Centre. Everyone exceeded the money. But everyone was chase out of the cab except for Eugene and me. There we had another sudden match, with another school, forgotten the school name. We lost again, but we did improve. We were being FUCK of course, for losing the match. Then everyone cab back to Chai Chee Sec.

We had our lunch after a short bathing time. After that, we get our rest and watched some training video clips. Then we were called to change into our running attire. We ran, and midway, it started raining, but we continued and finish the run. When we reach school, we bath and report back. Our next objective is to clean up the Ava room and return back the green mat. We were FUCK as we failed to meet the timing again.Upon finished, we had a little laugh with the Mangoboi. There, we proceed to Changi Jetty Point Chalet 3. The cab fare adds up to $26, reason, the cab not sure where is it, and we went backtrack 3 time.

Once we reach, everyone sat down quietly on the floor, waiting for coach. Once coach arrive, we were being tested by saying we are going for a run. However, the truth is we went into the bbq, and start enjoying ourselves. Until all of a sudden, the instructor had arrived long ago, and is in the room. They started to play with us again, I expected that and started laughing while reporting. I was right to laugh, it was games and performance time. Games we played some personality shit game, seaweed mouth to mouth game and finally the performance by the ballers.

Not gonna elaborate it, except for the performance part. Ern and Shazada was a group, they did a rap which is great. Dan, Gene and Xiang did skipping rope, they amaze people with it. Next, Mangoboi and me, we did a magician show, it was dotz... Finally, the ChickenLittle and Ben, did a strip show follow by some dance moves. Then comes the certificate, then while of FUCK and sending off people off the chalet. End up the whole chalet was occupy by just the bballers. We slept in two rooms and yeah... Day two of the camp end.

Day three begin. We were being tested again, for a morning run. But it was a fake and we were brought to have our breakfast. It tasted nice. Then we had debrief for the overall camp, after we clean up the area. Pack up and leave the area. Everyone cab home one by one I guess. Day three of the camp end.

Note* There is a whole lot more FUCK, just forgotten where and when it happen.

Then, Dan, Shaz, Gene and me went to bubbletea shop for drinks. Then cab again with Dan home. Continuing the day, around afternoon, had this fucking conversation with someone which is fucked. Then went to Bugis as I was being too fucked up. Brought some fucking shit and fuck it man. Saw Vanessa and Vincent, but didn't approach them.

Then went back home and anime all the way till a while ago. Then started blogging until all this shit came out. Seriously I don't know myself anymore. What do I want, what do I have. I don't even know. Going around spending money end up not accomplishing any shit. Gonna leave it now. Try to hold myself back from throwing any more shit out. Damn...

Remembering that time hating Azhar as he turn love into hate. Chao Chee Bye. I will never turn it to hate, that's only what a loser will do, this is what I told Azhar. Choosing the easy way out. To hate. Fucking piece of shit loser asshole bastard.

Finally last few sentence. Jia yiu and don't give up, Heni. For the video of course. Don't stress over it also. Nice and slowly. Do what is right. Stay strong! Push yourself to your limit! Tough time don't last, tough man do! =]

Camp

2009-11-19T04:02:00.001-08:00

Finally back to blog after three long days... The camp was fine. All other than the camp is extremely in the worst case. Lost everything. Wondering why am I so rebellious. Regretted will not bring back anything. Something I learned. Regretted almost every single thing that happen. But it is useless... Wanted to talk about the camp, but got no mood to do it. Everything is gone. And got no one to talk to. Am all alone. Any problems can only talk to myself. More words couldn't help as well. Done too much stupid idiot things. Immerse pain felt. I don't understand myself anymore. I have no more ideas to save this shit. Haha serve me right. I deserve it, I should have prepare for this day the day I type all those fucking stuff. Stupid fucking asshole bastard me. Can't even do what I want to. Can't cure any shit. No one can save this anymore. Haha. Great.

Night

2009-11-16T04:58:00.000-08:00

Well, this few days never blog because I was busy. Had no time to use computer at all, therefore no blog. By the way, gonna mia after this post as I will be having 3 day bball camp! It is gonna be good I guess... =)

So Sunday slept at 4am because of Heni and Jordy. Lazy to explain so please go Heni's blog to see more. Wake at 9am prepare go eat breakfast with Guanan and Johnny. Heni was late so no starbuck for you. Wakaka noobshit. After, went to Sheng Shiong to buy the bbq stuffs. For more information, please go to Heni's blog. So after Heni finally went to tuition, me and johnny went to buy satay and otak. Then followed by a number of things which I lazy to tell. So please go to Heni's blog. =P

Finally, reach East Coast Park, and it's gonna rain. Note* the time is 6pm and it is going to rain. Slowly we started the fire and I burnt my fingers. I actually use my bare finger to touch the fucking charcoal. Freaking pain and it is numb now. All is fine I guess. One by one people come and enjoy* themselves. No idea if it is fun or not as I am a lousy host. However, everything turns out fine afterall... Thanks for the cooker and the waiter. So after we drank some drinks around midnight. Ton with some people until 6am and in the process got checked by the police. Note* it didn't rain at all phew... Anyway thanks for everyone for coming... And starbuck will buy laa, thanks for helping me, it's your reward. ;D

Followed by a 5 hours of sleep and it's Saturday now! Went to some laptop interview. Going to sell Toshiba laptop on 4 days. Everything not sure through. Then went home and went to graduation night. Eaten some food, taken some photos. It was happy and sad I guess... Happy that have graduate, sad that have graduate. And I have receive the sleeping award. Cool, four years of effort, and I am the champion for sleeping in school! Haha, train harder you other noobs. Not very proud to get that reward through. =]

*edited* photo added

That's me?

Me and Desiree!

Ps my phone only take one photo.
For the rest go facebook! =]

After all this, I can't get over you. I miss you... TT

Without

2009-11-14T10:22:00.000-08:00

Today is another long and tiring day. Continue this way, am sure I will forget you clean as shit. Shit is never clean so I won't forget you. Lol obviously... Damn, sucks without you. What the hell am I typing. Haha. Anyway I am going to summaries today again so it will look as if as it is just another worthless day. Haha I am good in this man... =/

Morning wake, went to swimming pool at Tamp with Ern, Xiang, Dan and Leon. Afternoon eat lunch with my brother at Manpuku. The food was good! Late afternoon went to Parkway then to Cityhall. Start working at 6 till 1130. It was freaking tiring. One person handle two table. Crap. And there goes my hard-earn $30. Finally, got a $90 in my salaries. Wtf... Like some beggar working. Knnb... Then to Bedok to eat and finally cab home with Zhang Hao. Thanks... XD

Tomorrow is the bbq, may everything turn out smoothly. It is 3am now and I finally post finish. =]

Regret

2009-11-13T01:24:00.000-08:00

Today was a exhausting day. But am going to make it sound not tired at all by summarizing it! Went to bball training, we did a morning run, carried some table and chairs and finally some physical training. After went to eat and gym! That's about it... =p

Now at home. Kinda sad when there is no one to talk to. I need to constantly put myself in busy mood so I won't feel like what I am feeling now. Not happy at all. Everyday is like another same old day to me. Unlike the time when everyday is fun and exciting. Confirm will look into tomorrow de days. It's over! Haiz... Useless so fuck it. Wahaha. =]

Really hope everything will go back to how it used to be... Now like playing hide and seek which I try to seek but she is inside a safe box. I can't open it, with the key and the replicate inside the safe box as well... Oh well... Random but quite true. ==''

Alive

2009-11-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

Some Photos to liven up my blog. Of course it will be photo of myself! =D Found out I always take photo in my blk lift. Cause it is like 2 mins wait. ==''
Glad that there is someone beside you all along. It will be fine this way. XD

As I grow. Lol! Thanks bitches. =p

Kinda down. In the lift wad... =p

First day work! The full of smoke toilet. XD

Me with Korean superstar. After first day work. =]

Second day work! Yawn* ;P

Freak

2009-11-12T07:55:00.000-08:00

First, I will start of by saying I have another long long day... so gonna summaries it. Wake at nine, went to meet Zhang Hao, went to city hall to work. It was bored like fuck, job too easy to do. Slack for around four hours and work for 2 hours. But then, because of it, I have $60 inside my salaries. Slowly slowly... ;D

Second, went to play bball at coach area. Only me and Dan went through. That Quek chee bye over slept. Good! Gonna listen to some fantastic reason again. Fine... I will just accept it. So, tomorrow performance is good, I guess. But not happy. Haha, was I happy? No idea... Probably no. Lol. XD

Third, I will talk about how busy I am going to be for this two weeks. Endure people. This post gonna end soon! =p. Friday going to bball training and some physical training. Saturday going to work during night time, and another $30 will be earn! Sunday there will be a bbq! Of cause I have lots of assistance. Can prepare for January de bbq also. Hehehe... Not yet forget! Monday will be the graduation night! Gonna be another sad night, that's for sure. Tuesday all the way to Thursday there is bball training camp. Should be fun and tiring. Friday and Saturday there's job from Kai Xiang. Looking forward to it!

All there goes my one week! Done for today! Phew... Lost my smile haha. Interesting... =D

Gonna share a song! Don't comment please. Just listen. Not happy shut up. Thanks!

Moving

2009-11-11T05:20:00.000-08:00

Haha... Started my blog with haha is a good choice. Cause I decided to move on. Being a irritating fifteen young boy isn't too pleasant afterall. Shall stop bothering her... Once and for all! Reminded me of my past. All the same, end le will never talk again. Wahaha... Another friend lost I guess. Damn... Gonna make sure the next one won't happen again. Chee bye... ==''

Heart is not close by myself. Not forcefully instead it close up automatically... Fully understand how it feels to choose to ignore a person. I did ignore someone too! Nevermind... Look forward, straight and slowly go back to how I behave in the past. I shall give no more sorry and no more thanks. More alone life, less chatting life, more ps3 life, more audition life... Lol. And not forgetting basketball life. It is a result of another person this time. Shit! Thanks all this fuckers for changing me so much. XD

Haha... Still must thanks through. Danah is right, everytime something happen, I will change into a better person. Thanks all this person to set me off the right path, I guess. Learnt a lot of honging skills through. Guess it will be useful for my future. Hehe... Learn how a honging behave, how they hong, how they speak, how daring they must be. But all too normal and standard le. I have to think of better ways. Like my darling Ah Peng, call people gorgeous... *(have to check how to spell this word, never use before). Not bad huh! My chee bye mother born gay porno bastard... Hehe. :D

By the way. I am a cheerful boy! Going to behave like how I did when I do not have all this problems. After this post is done, will chiong to play ps3! Demon Soul! Expect to kill tons of time with this man. Hopefully my whole holiday. And it's true that when your sad, go find something to do. To keep yourself occupy and busy so got no time to think of stuff. And for me, I found myself some jobs! Expect to kill tons of my time as well. And and and, I earned my first $30 yesterday. Lan Jiao, half a day *(6 hours), some skills, english and human physical and emotional to exchange for money. Stupid mother fucker son of a bitch. Not too bad through! ;p

With O level ended... I am a free man. Finally... Exam is easy through. Nothing chaining me now! Wahaha... Expected score for O level is between 10 to 16 points. So wish me luck for 10 points! All the chickens in the world! Handphone gonna return to the state of resting mode again. Enough words for today I guess... No end of speech I tell ya. Worst than all the principal in school. Wahahaha! =)

Fade

2009-11-10T10:02:00.000-08:00

Long day... =]

All that you have said last night. I understand it all. Finally get it...
Me too, feels nothing after a night of sleep. Just like a close heart...
But I won't give up just like that. I will still do what I wanna do... Never give up.

Pain

2009-11-08T15:26:00.001-08:00

Yep... Am back to blog again. Feeling very depress now. Super down. All the way to negative point... Feel like a dead person typing all this emotions down. Everyone might felt the same way. Alicia I am really sorry about all those things in the past. Without you, I really have lost the reason for me to smile. I can't even fake myself to laugh now. Looks like I am the weak one here... I try to respect you by letting you go home by yourself. But immediately after you left, rain drop... Really worry about you. It is not going to be easy without her around, realise that. Really hope that everything is just a nightmare. And it will be over soon. Being a real idiot typing all this out. With all this pen down in here. I will going to stop blogging for now. Will be back in no time. Stay tune to my life story! Sorry...

Regardless how painful it will hurt myself, I will still continue.

Soon

2009-11-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

The time now is 4am. Going to leave house in another hour... Getting to spend the whole day with a empty house is no fun. Was kinda lonely. Hopefully, later things will turn out fine. Kinda worried about it. Please no more trouble... Don't want any more misunderstanding? Because I will get to see her, hopefully won't affect her mood. Guess that I am thinking too much again. =x

Anyway I have ton for two days... I think. Lazy count how many hours. And today I spent my night playing dota and watching anime. Damn, freaking tired. Later morning or afternoon still has to get a jab then go for job training. It has being a long two day for me. Crazy two days... Head spinning but still okay. @@

Damn... very worry about you. The last few days must be rough. Please be happy everyday. Get some rest after she leave and get prepare for Chinese... Am very sure that she want you to do well also. Most important, cheer up! ^^

Sometime I feel like I am writing to the wall. But well, at least I am able to express what I wanna say out. Good enough for me, I guess... =]

Bye

2009-11-08T03:09:00.001-08:00

Today morning my bro came back. Awake since last morning. Watched animes, read manga, play internet games. All these kill night time fucking fast. Before I know it, my bro is back. So we went to Kim Gray at T1 to eat breakfast, early in the morning eat this kind of breakfast is like waa de hell... If everyday like that, my life will have more meaning. Except for the sleeping part. Haha... Brought ps3 games. I was sad that there was games for me... Anyway said bye to my bro, gonna see him next week I guess. =[

Gonna spend my time alone alone and alone I guess. No one to go out with, no basketball training until Tuesday. Damn, life freaking meaningless. Plus she going back later, less one person to msn. On msn also bai on le, never chat with anyone at all. Don't worry?! I am a cheerful boy. Will take good care of myself and will not waste my holiday! ._.

Going to off my computer now and ton ps3 till later. Woo! Spend and spent a day playing alone in house. No one in going to be in my house expect for me until Monday late night! Going out later... =p

Wanna talk and sort things out... When will be the day?...

Family

2009-11-07T10:46:00.001-08:00

Gonna summaries everything that happen yesterday and today. Even so, I believe it will be quite long. So bear with it folk!

On the 6th of Nov, stayed at home till evening. Going out on the afternoon were canceled due to some problems. Don't worry, not like one year go out one time.

So ermm... Went out with the china people. Sorry to address you all this way, but best way to group all of us in it. There were a lot of people, Went to Katong shopping centre to meet them, then Parkway as one of them wanna change money. Cab-ed to Gelyang lor12 to eat satay and weird stuffs... Drink lots of green tea. Hehe...

After, bus-ed to Bugis de Topone. They sing Chinese song and I listen for the whole time. Played dice and well... Bill came out to be $600+, everyone had to pay $40. Goddammit... But enjoyed the freeflow water. Hehe... Then, went home, bath, sleep. The rest went to "Bao Yea".*(Play whole night of computer)

On the 7th of Nov, morning went out of house for a waiter job at TCC. Am sure it gonna keep me occupied during the holiday. However, must make full use of my holiday huh. Then, went to Katong Shopping Centre play dota. Win some lose some...

Until evening, where everyone walk separate way, I didn't want to go home. So I ended up in Parkway alone. Brought "Strawberry Green Apple Milk Tea". The auntie reminded me of "No Pearl". Wow, impression very deep huh. For those that understand...

Followed by East Coast Park! Parkway Area was C, I traveled all the way to D48, to check out the pit for class bbq. It was a good location, I thought to myself... Then having nothing to do, I continued all the way down*(I mean face sea then turn left) to Area F. A new skate-park was there. Cool people flying all around.

After, slack at Area F seeing people flying. Then walked to MacDonald which is at Area C, it's finger licking good! And yes, it is a detour, I actually walked back. Drank iced milo and again, slack there. Walked around, see some people roller blade, see some Tamiya cars. Was cool, didn't know all those things exist. Finally, walked home from Area C, it was farrrrr... However didn't get lost, found my way back almost immediately.

Reach home, chatted in msn. And blog. Gonna sleep after this. Basically today is a day of walking. Walked through the night... Was depress but well, it gonna turn out fine. And and and someone is leaving soon. Damn... Take care and cheer up!

Hope you would trust me again. Believe that I will never hurt you again. After going through so much. Open up your heart please... I am in wrong.

Realise

2009-11-05T04:07:00.000-08:00

Today, linked everyone up I guess. That is everyone I know which has a blog, I think. Among all of this, I only chat with two people the most frequent. Never ending chat. *(not really) Kinda sad huh, but it is good enough for a 15 years old boy. Last time, was three people but well... Haha should know. Due to my idiotic thinking in the past, screw up lot of things. Damn... Really hope everything will turn out fine by itself, but it will not... >_<

Anyway, back to today, finish my poa paper. Wasn't as hard as I thought it will be, in fact it is easy! With that paper gone, I am already flying in air. However, wasn't happy at all as my life is missing something, someone. Really wonder how I can make things better. Just thought that I was really a bastard, now also I think. Regretted what I have done. Doing and typing whatever I feel like and want to. Sorry for it, everyone and you. Life has being a total change ever since that happen. T_T

And forgot a important part, I went to bball training today. Decided to train up for bball camp (hardcore training?) on the 17 18 and 19 Nov. On the 16 Nov is the graduation night, the day when I leave CCSS. And 15 Nov a bbq, please let everything turn out fine. Let's see, 11 Nov is when I finish my Os level, officially. 10 Nov is the Chinese O level exam. 7 8 9 Nov is the Bintan trip which I cannot go. 6 Nov going out! Farewell and celebration? Two in one! Just realise that I listed down the main events for this month, in reverse manner. =D

Toh

2009-11-04T03:36:00.000-08:00

That's me! Mark as the return of de hair! School cant catch my hair no more.

Random bird?! Drawn during physic class. I love it, the way I present this.

Today, exam was fine. It always is... Anyway O level is ending real soon. Tomorrow?! Chinese O level is on the 10th. Please if there is god, let her do well. *I don't believe in god, but she does, so can lah. XD

And yeah, today's happy thing is. Hmm... Get a replied from her? Didn't expected that. Haha. And. Err... Slept in Geo paper for 30 mins. And. Played bball! =]

Looking forward to 6th! Where I can get some fresh air! =D

Bball

2009-11-03T06:21:00.000-08:00

Today, morning went out eat with my mom. Brought some stuff and went to school. Hmm... school was boring when there is nothing to do. Ended up in bball court. =]

Played bball and then went for Dnt exam. It was good I guess, the paper. After exam, went to bball training to tired myself out. Feel damn tired and shiok after training. Study a bit for physic after I reach home... Feeling lifeless in myself already. Kinda depress. Haha. Maybe I am just tired. =D

Feel that life has gone back to square one. The time when I had no one to have fun. Except for me, myself and I. Now I think about it, I can only try to keep myself happy and cheerful everyday. Walk one step see one step. Can't do anything about it anymore...

She happy can le. Shouldn't invade her life anymore. That what I think. =)

So today's happy thing is ermm... receive a good luck msg! Even through I only see it after training. It was good enough for the day. Smile~ XD

My, Yourself

2009-11-02T05:44:00.000-08:00

Over the past day and today, I watched finish a 13 episodes of anime. Title myself yourself. It was a good past time, considering the plot and story were good. One of the best anime I watch after so long... This lead to me thinking to myself. This is how I past my freaking time during the past. (>-.-)>

In the past, I will always rush home first thing first to play games. I had no much friends and all... I was basically living in my own world. With tons of freedom and time flying around me. It continued all the way until now I guess. (>.<)

The last weekend, my brother came back from Tekok and we actually gather a list of "ps3 list". It was a list that has all the games my bro and me wanted to play. Guess wad people. It ended up being $2000 plus. He said this "for sure you play game until no time go out". Really makes me think... (=p)

What is going on in my life. Anime? Music? Game? Sport? Friend? Family? Relationship? Technology?... It is basically another focus in my life. I am being block by lots of trouble. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing what step to take. It is my life and I don't know how to control it. Walk one step see one step is what I can do now. (;x)

Everyone has different life, thinking and their very own right to choose their very own path to walk. I shouldn't have comment so much now I realize that. Was really being stupid and dumb, must admit that but 一人做事一人当... Only had to accept what I done and accept whatever punishment. (=])

So that lead to who I am. What I think about myself is is probably a being of solitude. But hey, I am a cheerful boy ya. Although I was a anti-social guy to begin with. (primary school) *vomit right... yup that's me!* However, as I grow, I begin to talk more. With that "Ichigo" mask of mine... Bankai! No one can see through me! (XD)

And let me see... Worst, I actually brought my courage together and approach her, through different ways and means. I found out that I can do it! But guess that was a huge mistake of mine. Considering the situation now. But because of that, I changed... Lot. Thanks?! Okay, enough of my boring thoughts coming out of my brain. The rest gonna store and hide. Hehe... That what I always do. Bye readers. (^^)

*There is reason why I watch animes as well...
*But that a secret! Maybe next time. ☺♥

Random

2009-11-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

Studying was really not my thing. That is why I am here. Today whole day at home rot. So gonna upload some random photos my phone have taken over the year. Sorry if there is any unglamorous photos. =]

My lovely gay partner. ==''

#5 taken by Ern. -.-

Wad the fuck is this. ==''

I ate this both. XD

Some random day sky. Capture by me. =]

This is hell... Painful memories. =.=lll

Most colourful lab i have ever done! -_-

Best result obtain for Chinese. Proud of him! =D

Result of bad chemistry experiment. Mine! =]

Which ass is this. *hint => comics book!*

10 buck fried rice! Jack's place. =]

Haha... Happy times. That a moon! =)

Candy... T1 rooftop?! XD

This is written by the lamest people people amongst all three. --ll

Aim higher! Three man team. =d

Okay! The end. Done all this while revising for Chemistry. I did revise! For a while. =]

Halloween

2009-10-31T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is gonna be a summary of my day!

Morning went with Zhang Hao to eat then went to school for lesson. Going to school is almost pointless as I had learn nothing new! So decided that going to school was for the sake of seeing Desiree. Lame but no choice. =]

Then, went home, changed and out again! Tired already so let the photo and some sentences do the talking!
BMW to Orchard with Ern, Eugene, Johnny. Amos was there waiting.

So we had lunch at Orchard... Ate fish pasta. XD

Then Jennifer Body. It was a no link movie. And she is not sexy. Some funny scene... Saw Coach with some familar faces and Auntie Lucy. =]

Aftermath, parkway buy Ern's earphone. Ate Laska at Katong.

Finally, meet up with Guanan & Danah at Escape. Melvin, Ru Wei & Hui Si left first. Saw Yue Han also! Never talk to them. =='' Went to Ehub eat burger!

And I bought a ring for myself! Waha... It is nice I guess. For my middle finger!
So after a long day... Blogged. I am going to rest. Met lot of people in a single day!
Really don't get why this world is so strange. Weird weird weird far too weird...
Want her back into my life. But she is fine and happy already. So that is good enough.
Got the feeling that Os is already over. Lol! Things is not as smooth as it seems...
*thanks ern and jack for the photos.* =]